"There are notes between notes, you know." -- Sarah Vaughan

Monday, August 25, 2008

Jesus take the wheel ... sweet feet

I hate riding in the car when Mr. SingLikeSassy is driving. He is a tense and impatient driver who doesn't react quickly to situations which just makes him more tense. And he relies on me to be his eyes and navigator then gets mad when I say go straight cause to me it's straight

needle dragging across a record screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech

In the midst of writing this post I stopped and picked up my AFTRA membership magazine and the first ad I see says "Pretty Dress...Ugly Feet?" It's a pitch for aesthetic foot surgery. Getthefugouttahere! According to the ad and the Web site listed on it, you can get your toes shortened and a toenail reconstructed among other things. Wow.


Now for many of you this is prolly nothing, but for me this is a trip. I have a foot thing. No, I don't want to touch feet or cut them off and collect them in my freezer or anything like that, I just look at people's feet and try to gauge why they look they way they do. And I judge them. I have seen some ugly feet and wondered first, why that person's feet looked so disgusting, and two, why they didn't realize it and cover them up.

It's my grandma's fault. She was convinced that no woman's feet should be bigger than a size 8 and even then they might be a smidge too large. She also said a woman's feet should be soft and ladylike looking, meaning nails clipped and polished, heels smooth, no callouses, corns or bunions.

As a result, I am fanatical about my feet. If I see anything looking like a corn or callous developing I stop wearing whatever shoes I think might be causing it. I have more salves, lotions, oils and potions for softening the feet than is prolly healthy.

So to bring it full circle, I have short, fat toes on my size 7 feet. Maybe these feet fixers can hook a sista up with some foot beautification? runs to Web site to see what kinds of stuff I can get done to my feet.

1 comment:

  1. professor b8/25/2008

    LMAO!!! Cuz you KNOW how I feel about my feet!! That one corn, in particular. I've been thinking about getting it surgically removed but then thought how vain is that??? I thought about you yesterday when I saw this woman's feet and I thought to myself, GOOD LAWD!!! Her feet make mine look gorgeous! They were big (though, she's tall), flat and the toes looked like knuckles -- what do they call that, hammertoe? And the bunions ... and I was like wow...and she had on flipflops!! Then I thought, maybe my feet aren't that ugly afterall?? LOL!!!

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Use your inside voice ... or I'll put you outside. -- SingLikeSassy