"There are notes between notes, you know." -- Sarah Vaughan

Sunday, October 5, 2008

The doctor is in!

I've had calls, texts and emails recently from friends seeking advice. I willingly obliged.

One is pregnant by her longtime beau. They live in a house she bought, but they pay for, and own other investment properties together.

Her note went like this: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE! HE HAS TO GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! I DON'T LOVE HIM! I'M MISERABLE!

My response: Call the sheriff and put his shit on the curb. You know what to do.

Mr. SingLikeSassy's response to my response: Damn (and he doesn't cuss!) there ain't no middle ground to be found nowhere? (<--he said this in a Chris Rock-type voice) They are expecting a child together.

He's right, there is middle ground but sometimes your girl doesn't want the reasoned response, she wants the "I'm throwing on my sweats grabbing the bat and will be over there in 10 mins I'll call Nene and 'em on the way and tell them to meet us there" response. That's what I gave. Tomorrow they will be in love again, painting the baby nursery and picking out names.

******

Friend two, who is single, wanted to know why when she goes to gatherings all the married and attached women give her the fish eye and clutch their men the minute she walks into the room.

My response: Cause you're too foxy for 'em. They know they ain't got shit on you and yo' badness.

Mr. SingLikeSassy's response to my response: You know that ain't true.

He's right. But she felt better, so my job was done.

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Use your inside voice ... or I'll put you outside. -- SingLikeSassy