What would you do in this situation?
Need help -- soon!: I recently got married to a wonderful guy who loves and cares about his family (one of his best qualities).
However, his very toxic sister (drama-queen and financial leech) wishes to move in with us! We JUST got married, and we're trying to start a family -- we want this to be "our" time.
My wonderful husband doesn't feel like he can say no, because she had depression, and her only other option is to move in with my in-laws... in some retirement community in Arizona, where she would "have no life."
I've tried to explain to my husband, that if she moves in with us, we would have no privacy, and he would have to become her "dad" instead of her adored big brother, as she has no common sense, and acts like she's a horny 16-year-old, instead of a 36-year-old. But my husband says that the option would be "condemning" her to not having a social life (not that she has one now...she does not have a single friend nor close acquaintance, due to her toxic personality).
Any advice on what I can say to convince him? I realize due to her "issues", she will -eventually- be living with us -- but I was hoping that would be after we had kids, and had time to ourselves first. I'm ready to be the mom of a baby... but not of a 36-year-old who thinks she's still a teenager!
Carolyn Hax: Since when is it a brother's responsibility--much less a sister-in-law's--to ensure that a grown sibling has a social life?
I can't promise it will "convince" anybody, but you do need to shoot down his rationale: -He- isn't condemning her to not having a social life, she has done that to herself. By caving, though, he would be condemning you to a life without privacy.
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