"There are notes between notes, you know." -- Sarah Vaughan

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Things I'm still learning as a wife

My husband has my back. That's something I'm still getting used to, having someone I'm not related to concerned about me, trying to protect me. My daddy said I came out of the womb independent and never wanted any help other than that cash kinda help when my ends was low, LOL!

When my car broke, I called AAA. I also developed a relationship with a mechanic. When ish broke in my house that I bought all by myself, I fixed it or found someone who could fix it and paid them to get it done. Whatever the case it got fixed. I handled it. I can work a drill like a pro and have removed and installed light fixtures, a doorbell and various and sundry other projects. Now, that doesn't mean I don't appreciate having a partner OR that I don't get out of the way so that he is able to do what he needs to do, but sometimes that self-sufficient I have to do it all by myself SingLikeSassy pops out.

Mr. SLS had to report to the military on Saturday at 06:30 a.m. so we had to end our vacation on Friday. If all had gone as planned, we would have been home and in the house by 10 p.m. We caught our first flight at noon with little to no drama. Got to Dallas and rushed through customs only to find our connecting flight had been pushed back. We grabbed sandwiches, pulled out our books and iPods and settled in for a short wait. Four hours later, our flight -- after being pushed back several times -- was canceled.

We got in the line with other disgruntled passengers and I grabbed both cellphones and started calling the airline. When I got someone on the phone I had them reserve us seats on a flight but the agent said we would have to get someone at a counter to print us new boarding passes. Rather than run to the gate for the other flight and risk finding ourselves at the end of another long line, we decided to stay put in the line we were in and get the tix.

When we got to the counter (and a kudos to the gate agent who helped us, because a man tried to get in front of us and before me or Mr. SLS could say hell no, she said, sir, you need to go to the back of that very long line and wait like these people did. Then gave him the stink eye) I said, my husband is in the military and has to report to duty in the a.m., so please do whatever you can to get him a seat on a plane leaving tonight. I can fly out later.

Mr. SLS said, baby thank you for offering, but I'm not leaving you in this airport by yourself and flying back to D.C.

Now, in my head I was thinking wha? you know you gotta get back, Uncle Sam don't play! and I have flown to and traveled around several countries by myself where I didn't even speak the language so I think I can get myself from Dallas to D.C. all in one piece! But out loud I said, OK.

Meanwhile the gate agent (again, she needs a raise) got us seats on the next flight out (turns out the one I had the agent on the phone reserve was canceled while we were waiting), when the majority of the folks were only able to snag a place on the extra-long standby list.

Even after being seated, the plane didn't leave the gate til after 11 p.m., but we eventually got home, though there was other drama when we got to D.C. so we didn't get to the house until after 5 a.m.!

I thought about it though and honestly, some brothers I dated before my husband would have left my extra-capable ass in that airport and not thought twice about it. And I know many many many women who would not even have thought to suggest taking a later flight.

But as I said in the beginning, I'm *still* learning. My husband is never leaving me to fend myself.

It's kinda nice.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Ain't my baby handsome?

Here's another photo of my BFF's son. I can't wait to get my hands on this baby next weekend!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

I'm back snitches!

Hi ho! I'm back and feeling real relaxed and mellow despite a hellish travel scene getting back to the D.C. urreah. I have some posts in mind and will type type type me little fingers down to nubs tomorrow so that you may have a post a day this week if not more!

Here's a sampling of our vacation:

Imagine leaving that view and weather to come back to a gloomy, rainy D.C.? Damned global warming.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Feeling peaceful and relaxed

It's very beautiful and green here. I miss the quiet and the trees sometimes living darn near the heart of the city. We decided to play this trip by ear rather than program it via lists and such and I think it has been one of our better vacations.

Hope all is well with you guys!

Friday, March 20, 2009

Something I remembered while I was packing...

I am afraid of heights. I also get motion sick on airplanes, boats, trains, buses, Metro cars and in any vehicle I am not driving.

Because of this, I sit on the aisle when we fly. I *might* throw up. It's happened.

Mr. SLS would jump off the roof with a hang glider on if he thought he could pick up enough wind to do it. He prefers to sit at the window.

This is perfect when we are on planes that have seats grouped in twos. When we are on planes with seats grouped in threes, he will graciously sit in the middle.

But once when we were flying home from Savannah, he got to the seat before I did. I was maybe two, three people behind waiting on folks to put their stuff in the overhead. The young blonde lady in the window seat asked if he was with anyone and he said yes and then she asked, would you mind if I sit on the aisle so that I can talk to my friend across the aisle. I hear him saying, sure and I say, loudly, NO.

So then her friend says, damn, why she got to be all like that, and I say, I can be any kind of way I want to since that's MY seat and not his. I chose the aisle seat for a reason. If you wanted to sit together you should have purchased early enough so that you could choose seats together, like we did. (Lesson to the young birds: Don't ever test me with no back lip and shit. Just sit yo' ass down).

But really, I wasn't irritated with them as much as I was pissed off with Mr. SLS (who wasn't my husband at the time, but my boyfriend) because this was not our first flight, he knew that I got airsick, he knew that I had specifically said when you buy the plane tickets, make sure you GET ME AN AISLE SEAT, so I could not understand why he would even fix his mouth to say that chick could have my seat. He said he wasn't really thinking about all of that and it was the nice thing to do. And I said, if your reflexive action as MY MAN is to make somebody else more comfortable than ME, this relationship may be drawing to a close.

Obviously we worked through it, but I think about it every time we fly....giving away my damn seat. He musta bumped his head and lost his whole damn mind.

Anyways, we leave for vacation in the morning and I am hoping I will not be anywhere near a computer so there won't be any blog posts for several days.

Take care and I'll type to you on my return!

Interesting comment...

...the idea we can have everything we want at once is extremely toxic, not to mention persistent despite abundant evidence that it's a crock. Sure, some people have love, career and baby all at once, but if you look closely even at the people who make it all work, there are still sacrifices. There have to be.
-- Carolyn Hax, The Washington Post

Your thoughts?

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Randomness as I wind down (up?) for vacay

We leave for vacation on Saturday and I can barely focus on work I'm so ready to get out of there.

It's not that I don't like work, it's become quite interesting and challenging over this past year, but I have an editor who is a kvetcher, which works my last good nerve sometimes.


After I received the note (and cutie pie photo) that my friend's baby had arrived, I thought a long time about labor. Hers started at midnight and the baby got here after 6 p.m. That's a lot o' time pushing and having pains and whatnot.

I still want to do it though.


I realized last night that I am the holdup for all the things we want to do. OK, for two of the things we want to do. Sigh.

I'm making progress though.


Ed Liddy gets paid $1 to go to the Hill and get ripped a new asshole. Interesting.


AIG is gangsta. I thought about if I would have taken the money...and admittedly, I prolly would have cause I like loot.

Was it right to give the bonuses in the first place? I think someone should have seen it was going to be a clusterfuck and put the kibosh on it.


The future feels very shaky to me and that stresses me out. I'm generally very optimistic so this surprises me. Mr. SLS is not stressed at all, and he's generally very fatalistic. Hm.


I wish tomatoes didn't hate me. I love them.


I hate dollar stores. It stinks in there.


My cats need a new home, one with an old lady who will stay home all day and stroke them.


My husband is still feeling the glow from the party last weekend. Friends he's bumped into this week have raved about the good time they had. I'm so glad. I always stress out in the lead up to hosting something, even though it usually turns out well. I'm really just glad I could do that for him.


The elephants look so sad all chained up at the ankle.


I don't give a shit about March Madness. I so love that sports are mostly ignored in our household, though Mr. SLS says he feels awkward sometimes when he's with other dudes and they make comments about "the game," which he aint watched and cares nothing about....


....Music, that's what's playing in our house all of the time, that's what he's doing all of the time, that's what he's thinking about all of the time: music. Talk to my husband about music.


My birthday is 31 days away. We're gonna race go-karts and go to the circus.


Almost all of my first cousins have April birthdays along with me and my brother: April 3, 11, 12, 13, 18, 20, 27.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

My best friend had her baby!

He was born at 6:22 p.m. today!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

**Spotlight Question**

Would you ever eat food served on somebody's body?

Why or why not?

Monday, March 16, 2009

The good in having good friends...

I love Mr. SLS's best friend, he always gives him good, practical advice. Prolly the best piece of advice he gave is when Mr. SLS went to him before we got married. He was having some pre-wedding jitters* because though his marriage had been over for some time, he hadn't been divorced for very long when we met and he wondered if we were moving too fast.

His friend said, "You started this conversation off saying she was the best thing that ever happened to you**. Are you really debating whether you should you marry the 'best thing that ever happened to you?'"

Yes, that advice was favorable to me, but seriously, he's very levelheaded and reasonable and not a negative person so when he gives advice it's usually sound.

He and his wife (whom I also love) are dealing with infertility problems as well, but we haven't all talked about it, though the two men have obviously discussed.

As the birthday party Saturday evolved (or devolved) into a drunken iPod contest and dance off, she hugged me and started crying because they hadn't gotten pregnant yet after several procedures and lots of out-of-pocket payments and why was this so hard?

Now for those of you who don't know me IRL, I am awkward with other people's emotional moments. Anger I can deal with, I know anger, anger knows me, I am anger. But tears? I don't know what to do with that. I'm very much like my Grandma in that way and my family has said because my mother is very emotional and hysterical in any and all crises (likely counteracting Grandma's stoicism), I learned to compensate for that by becoming a stone-faced problemsolver.

But since I was drunk (just not as drunk as she was), I wasn't my usual stiff-armed self, so I said, "woo woo woo" and rubbed her back. Why I have no idea, but it seemed appropriate at the time.

That little moment, though, was good cause I think the last few hesitations I had about creating a friendship with her outside of the menfolks (this can get problematic sometimes, so I generally don't do it) are gone.

And they gave Mr. SLS the second best gift (aint no gift evah gonna be better than what I gave him! teehee) of the evening, something very meaningful and specific to him.

*My jitters surfaced one day when I came downstairs to Mr. SLS arranging cds on the rack and noticed that my cds, which were usually stacked on the top, weren't there. I asked where they were and he said, oh, I just put them on the shelf with all the others and I said, but, those were mine and he said, well baby, this is what marriage is, blending households and lives and cds. My heart started palpitating and I squeaked out an OK, then got in the car and drove off as fast as I could thinking about how I didn't want my cds all mixed in and how I would never find them and lawd, maybe I'm not ready...I talked to my mother and she said, if I got to the altar and decided I didn't want to get married I could call it off and don't worry about money spent, people traveling -- nothing -- she would support me in the decision. Later I talked to Mr. SLS and he put my cds back on top where I could find them and said, I could blend them in when I got ready. LOL!

**Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me

Sunday, March 15, 2009

The party was so much fun!

It went on til the wee hours of the morning, the food was good, the wine was good, the music was great! and Mr. SLS is very happy. His friends came out and showed him how very much he is loved and appreciated.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Sigh, I'm off my cake makin' game

I've just spent the last 3.5 hours making a cake. It's the same cake my Granny always made me on my birthday. I've made this cake umpteen times before.

So, I ask you, how in the hot ass hell did I mess up the frosting, which is what makes the cake? HOW DID I DO THAT??! My frosting (the main ingredients are homemade whipped cream and crushed pineapples) didn't set up. It was too juicy. I put it in the freezer, it was still too juicy. I mean juicy as in it tastes good, but it would just run off the cake (the cake has mandarin oranges in it).

I finally decided to whip some more cream (this means chilling the bowl, chilling the wire whisk, chilling the measuring cup) and fold in some of the juicy cake frosting. That worked, but it's not the same frosting and, as a result, it is not THE cake, the one Granny always made for me that I was SO set on making for this birthday party I'm throwing tomorrow for Mr. SLS.

I don't like making or serving half-assed shit. Yes, I'm sure no one else will notice cause the reworked frosting is fine, it's actually lighter since it's more whipped cream than anything else, but now I feel like I'm about to embarrass my husband with a bunch o' nasty ass food that people will be talking about for years to come...

I need to go to bed. Start fresh in the a.m.

::curls up in fetal position on bed, praying that cake and food don't bomb::

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Different strokes for different folks

A lot of the time my family gets on my nerves. I live far away because I can only take them in small doses. But sometimes I really appreciate them. Yesterday was one of those days. 

Mr. SLS turned 40. My husband was feeling a little apprehensive about this birthday. It's 40. It's a benchmark, a milestone.

From 8 a.m. on my family called and sent cards, text messages and emails wishing him a Happy Birthday. They love me, so they love him and since we celebrate birthdays in my family, they poured it on for him the same way they will pour it on for me in a few weeks. This meant a lot to him. He was smiling and laughing as he read the texts, messages and talked to my parents.

His brother and sister have *yet* to reach out to him. No card. No call. Nothing. This would mean nothing except I know this hurts his feelings. Don't get me wrong, he's not crying about this or whatever, but it hurts his feelings.

To compound it, for the past three years I've known him, his sister has bitched and complained about her birthday.

On our anniversary last year, we talked about our best memories from the past year of wedded bliss and one of his was the beach trip we took with my family.

So, for today and maybe even the rest of the week, I will think only good thoughts about my family.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

River Rise by India.Arie

This is my new favorite song, from her new cd Testimony: Vol. 2, Love & Politics. I found a bootleg version on YouTube, but get out there and cop a good one and put in the iPod rotation. Here are a few of the lyrics just to give you a taste:

There was always a power I could feel
It was guidance to tell me the way to go

But nowadays I feel like I can't hear that voice
I've been flying blind
I need you to come and be my eyes, be my eyes

River rise, carry me back home
I cannot remember the way
River rise, carry me back home
I surrender today

Monday, March 9, 2009

Whenever I'm at home on a work day...

...I always wish I could work part-time or be a SAHW/M. I get more done when I'm at home part of the day and am generally in a better mood because the house is clean, clothes are washed and folded, dinner is cooked, bills are paid, errands are run, shopping is done etc.

Last year I had a break after I left my other job and before I started this one, and I thought I would be bored, but it was really interesting to find out how much I liked taking care of our household. I was busy everyday with appointments and other stuff.

But, I like having my own money and not being dependent on someone, too.

If/when we sell my house, we could easily survive off Mr. SLS's income and part of why I have been pursuing freelance opportunities is so that I will have a network in place already if we ever have this kid we're working on. I can take a six month maternity leave and that will likely be enough, but you never know until baby is here and I wouldn't want to leave the workforce completely. My employer doesn't really embrace flexible schedules.

But as for right now, it would help me a lot to not have to be at work at 9 a.m. For the bulk of my career I have made my own hours so I generally got to work between 10 a.m. and 11 a.m. and this is the first time I've really *had* to be at work at the "regular" hour and there's no getting around it because I have a planning meeting EVERYDAY at 9 a.m. that I must attend. Sigh. In the past I used that extra hour to get stuff done, such as washing clothes, stopping at the cleaners etc. Having to BE at work at 9 a.m. is hard for me and it's a race everyday. Not sure why.

Anyway, all of this is just prattling and small talk. What's happening with you guys?

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Accidentally deleted a post with a comment on it!

Sorry FreeMan! I'm too quick on the trigger.

Moving along, I've been away from the blog for a minute because frankly, I created this as something fun to do, but lately it's started feeling like a job. MY job in fact, the one I get paid to do during my 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. day.

But truthfully, I'm feeling restless in general. I may have pre-spring fever. I'm so happy about daylight savings time I don't know what to do. I hate it when it's dark at 6 p.m.

To that end, Mr. SLS and I have decided where we want to move in a few years. I don't hate D.C. but I want to go somewhere with a lower cost of living where we might be able to afford that renovated 19th century house we want. OK, we may never get that house, but just somewhere where everything isn't so crowded and loud and dirty and busy and that isn't HERE. Somewhere else. Plus, I'm tired of being cold.

Problem is it still needs to be a vibrant enough city that there is a sufficient music community for Mr. SLS to connect with, as we would be moving away from musical connections he has developed over the past 30 years.

We've identified a city and state, and have decided we will visit it over the next few years, explore the city, try to make friends there and essentially become natives as much as we can from afar so if/when we move there it won't be such a transition.

What's happening with you guys?

Friday, March 6, 2009

Sunday, March 1, 2009

I'm not in a blogging mood right now

Please amuse yourselves with the archives (2009, 2008) and tweets: http://twitter.com/SingLikeSassy

Thanks in advance for your patience and understanding.