"There are notes between notes, you know." -- Sarah Vaughan

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

I love you until I don't

My cousin Chris, the one who is like the big brother I never had, is getting divorced.

When he brought his soon-to-be ex-wife around 12 years ago, I'll admit I preferred this other woman he was seeing that I had befriended. His other girl was really cool, pretty, smart and we were in the same sorority.

But my cousin told me he preferred the woman who would later become his wife. So, I left it alone. He loved her and it was his choice -- and life -- at the end of the day.

Until the other day, I've never been rude to his wife. In fact, I went out of my way to be nice and friendly to her because not one other person in our family liked her or wanted him to marry her. And when my family decides not to like you, they will make your life hard indeed. I figured until she did something to me or hurt my cousin, it was all good.

Why does my family hate her so? She lied. All the time. About everything. First, she said her kids (she had two when he met her) had the same father. That turned out to be a lie. She said she had been married before and had left her husband. Lie. She told me she went to college and pledged a different sorority than the one I am a member of. Lie. If she was talking she was lying.

While they were dating Grandma invited her to an event and she wore the shortest, tackiest, sluttiest dress for miles around embarrassing our grandmother. After she bent over one time too many my Grandma said, "Everyone here is dressed like a lady except you. Go put some clothes on cause I'm tired of seeing the top of your ass crack every time you bend over."

I'm sure there are good things about her, too, I just can't think of any of them.

Now, after almost 10 years of marriage, this couple is done-zo. She found a new man and decided she didn't want to be married anymore. When my cousin told me about the pending divorce, we had a good long talk about relationships etc. No matter what *we* saw, he loved his wife, lumps, bumps, lies and all.

When she called me Sunday asking for something -- I don't know what, cause I cut her short -- I was rude to her. I'm wrong for that. In our whole family, I am the *one* person who has been consistently nice to her, so whatever she needed, I'm prolly the only one she could ask.


Yes, I know I'm going to hell.


  1. Loyalty is a good thing. You are loyal to your cousin and that's a rare commodity.

  2. Nerp. She is. You may have been rude at that moment but were self aware of your actions, considering the emotional state you & the family is in...she, on the other had committed a deadly sin & broke a commandment. Ummm, she needs some Jesus - quick & bad like.

    My prayers are with you & your family.


Use your inside voice ... or I'll put you outside. -- SingLikeSassy