DEAR AMY: Our 19-year-old daughter has decided she does not have to abide by the curfew her father and I give her.I'm not posting Amy's response here, but rather would like to hear what other parents would do in this situation.
If we tell her to be home by 1 a.m., she never gets home before 2 a.m. She always turns up at least an hour late.
As I write this, it is 4 a.m. and she was told to be home an hour and a half ago. She is still not home.
When I call her, the response is always, "I'm on my way," and then she arrives at least two hours later.
Each time I say something to her, she says, "Sorry, I was having fun."
She has always been a good daughter but we don't know what to do now because she just keeps doing her own thing when it comes to her curfew.
She thinks that at 19 she should stay out as late as she wants.
Her father and I want this stopped without threatening her.
We don't want to take away the car keys from the car we bought for her.
We need something effective that will work without causing our very close family to crumble.
Her late nights are disrupting our lives. Help! -- Oh So Tired Mom
When I came home after my freshman year in college I had a 1 a.m. curfew (I had just turned 18). One thing I learned early on is that my mama said what she meant and meant what she said. So when Mama SLS said be IN the house by 1 a.m. I figured she meant that thang.
That was the last time I ever lived with either of my parents. Their house, their rules. My house, MY rules.
But every kid is different. Those same rules she set in stone my brother openly flaunted and never adhered to...with no reprecussions beyond her getting mad and my dad getting irritated because there was drama.
Where I was afraid to cross the line because I had been taught early on that actions had consequences and grown folks actions had grown folks consequences, my brother was a habitual linecrosser (to steal from Charlie Murphy).
It's interesting to see how our lives have turned out...