"There are notes between notes, you know." -- Sarah Vaughan

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Clean as a whistle!

So I've just taken the last of 28 pills to help "cleanse and flatten" my colon so it won't be in the way during surgery tomorrow. I want to throw them up because they are huge and make my stomach hurt a bit, especially since all I could eat today was clear foods, and since there are no clear foods, I've had nothing to eat.

OK, I'm exaggerating, I could have jello and chicken broth, but I didn't want that so I ate nothing and am now full to the brim with water, in which 28 horse-sized pills are floating.

But, my bag is packed, my paperwork is all laid out and, I'm ready. Everyone at work hugged me today and that just reminded me of how many really wonderful and kind people I work with.

We joked about me twittering the whole experience and I might actually post some updates to them via BlackBerry for entertainment purposes as I wait to go under anesthesia.

Well, that's it for now. I feel a "cleansing and flattening" moment coming on so gotta go.

Monday, July 27, 2009

"And it's deep, too!" -- Richard Pryor

Last week when I first heard the Gatesgate story, I didn't automatically think "racism." As I've heard more and more of the details, I still feel like my first instinct was correct. My thought was, "OK two men playing the 'who has the biggest member' game" a la this Richard Pryor joke (I'm remembering this cause I couldn't find a link to it via the Web so I might not have it exactly right. My version is also cleaner than RP's).
Two men are walking along discussing who has the biggest member. They get to a bridge and one of the men has to pee. He pulls his business out to pee in the water, so the other man does, too. Man one says, "Damn, this water sure is cold!" Man two says, "And it's deep, too!"
I talked to my parents about Gatesgate and they are convinced racism played some role in the incident.

And just based on the differing views between my parents and myself, I can understand how Gatesgate might have happened: perception is reality for most folks.

My parents grew up down South during the Jim Crow era. They have dealt with racism and discrimination firsthand. I have not. Have I somehow been affected by covert racism or subtle racism? Possibly. But I don't live my life looking for the racism in a situation so I'm guessing it pretty much goes over my head.

Here's an example of the perception/reality thing. At a previous place of employment, a black coworker decided a white coworker was racist because she didn't say hello/good morning.

Now, as I have noted in the past, I am not a "good morning" type chick. When I suggested that maybe that coworker wasn't a morning person either, the other coworker insisted it was racism and listed various reasons why. OK. That was her perception based on her experiences. My perception as an evil wench who *hates* to greet people in the a.m. before I put my purse down, get some coffee and generally settle in, was not the same.

Back to my parents. Based on their experiences, they are more sensitive to perceived racism. I suspect Mr. Gates' experiences have also made him more sensitive to perceived racism and his perceptions and experiences are what he brought to the incident that has led to all this drama.

I think this article is a good summary of the situation. Give it a read.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Paying respects

I spent a good part of today paying respects at the home of my friend and colleague who lost his two sons last week.

It's crazy anytime a parent has to bury a child, but to lose two children at the same time is almost incomprehensible to me. I cannot begin to imagine how they feel. I continue to wonder why this has happened to these wonderful people.

I'm humbled that at a time when I know they are hurting so deeply, they opened their home and let us all come by for a few hours and show them how much we care. I know there must have been more than 500 people in and out of that house today. They are loved. Their sons were loved.

I'll continue to keep them in my prayers.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Aside from being nasty as hell, what is this about?

Dear Prudence,

My wife and I recently had a large gathering of friends over the weekend. On the second morning, I was talking to my friend when his wife walked in, sat on a chair, and joined the conversation. When they both left the room minutes later, I saw a red stain on the fabric of the chair. I quickly cleaned it up. About an hour later, my wife came up to me and said she had found blood drops all over the bathroom floor. Just as we were beginning to wonder what was going on, another guest came in and told us that my friend's wife had just gotten up from a chair outside and left quite a bloody spot. Unsure of what to say, no one would approach her. We survived the next 24 hours with a minimum of mess, and then they left. This woman is married to a dear friend, and I hope to have them visit again, but this behavior is not acceptable. My wife says it is impossible that she did not know what was going on. What should I do?

—A Bloody Mess

Read Prudence's response.

Friday, July 24, 2009

When bad things happen to good people...

It always makes me wonder...why?

A couple I know and respect lost some very precious loved ones last night.

I can't imagine the grief and pain and hurt they are feeling.

I wish terribly that it had not happened.

I pray for them and their family.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

A crazy few days ahead of me

A lot going on at work and these intermittent headaches don't help. Makes me call Mr. SLS all day long to pretty much say...nothing.

Kinda like what I'm saying in this post. Ha!

What are your trash TV favorites?

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Dating advice

At the beginning of the year I gave some dating advice to a couple of friends. These are good women -- good people -- who wanted to be in healthy, monogamous and respectful love relationships, but hadn't quite hit the mark yet.

Mostly what I said was, keep dating. Stay open, stay hopeful, stay true to yourself and stay honest.

Well now it's summertime and both these young ladies are in relationships. I'm not taking credit for that though. LOL!

I think they are now in relationships because they were honest and clear about what they wanted and didn't get discouraged or sidetracked with an in-the-meantime dude.

I pray that these ladies remain happy and that the relationships grow and develop into the marriages and families that they ultimately want for themselves. Cause I need some new babies to spoil rotten!!

Good luck!!!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Books, movies and ????

I'm lucky to work at a place where we get books to review so there are always hundreds of books to choose from when I'm bored and need some reading material.

In the past month I put aside about 50 books for reading while I'm on leave.

I've also pruned the Netflix list and filled it with plenty o' movies.

Anything else I should do? I'm trying to ward off boredom.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Gearing up for surgery

It's countdown time for my surgery. I'm doing all my pre-op stuff this week, wrapping up projects at work and generally preparing to be out of work for almost two months. Interestingly enough I'm scheduled to return to work a day before our second anniversary.

I can't lie and say I'm not scared. I've never been cut or operated on. But, being healthy is important and that's the goal here.

I'll have more time to blog, twitter, Facebook etc. (not that I don't have enough time now. LOL!) so I'll keep you in the loop and certainly keep up with all of you as well.

Have a great week and read you in the blogosphere!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Dating, marriage et al

I was writing this as response to a post on another blog and decided I would just cut and paste the ish here because I'm really just tired of the whole "ain't no good brothas/sistas out here" comments. Ya'll know this is not true. You *know* it's not true.

Now, this is my blog so I'm going to write from my female perspective, but this message is universal and can be applied to men and women: Husbands don't look like boyfriends.

Now, before you run off half cocked taking my rhetorical statement literally, sit down and keep reading.

Is Mr. SLS who I envisioned when I dreamed of who my husband might be? No. I thought he'd be taller, darker, bigger, blahblahblah. But he ain't none of that and is still just right for me.

What if I had fired him from the beginning because he's not suave and I need a cool brother? Because he's skinny and I need a brother who can push a plow? Because he's a teacher/musician and I need a brother who can put me in a 20,000 square foot house?

I would have missed my man behind that BS.

I work in a building with a lot of blue collar brothers who are always very polite and respectful to me and I always think when I see them and they say, "Hello" and ask me how my day is or whatever, that surely one of those brothers has got to be a decent guy. But nary a one of my single say they wanna be married friends would date them because they are the maintenance guys instead of on the professional track.

I know women who would not have dated my husband because he is a teacher and therefore could not possibly be earning enough money for them. Which is fine, but, if I stopped working today, nothing would go off or fall short in this house because my teacher husband provides for us and my money takes care of what I had when we got married.

You're missing your man behind some BS!

Here's what I'm saying: take a step back. If you *really* want to be married, then take a good look at some of the folks you're turning away. Some of them probably do need to keep it moving, but surely out of 10 people, one of them is worth a second look, or some more conversation.

Brothas, Beyonce is gone. Off the market. And was never available to you anyways! Move on. That sista walking in the Susan G. Komen race? She might be available.

Same to you sistas, Denzel/Will Smith etc.? Not an option. But the quiet brother with the glasses down in accounting? He might be available.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

What's going on, my friends?

Yeah, I've been away from the blog for a bit. This thing can be a grind and with Facebook and Twitter accounts to play with, too, that's an overabundance of Interwebz going on sometimes, so I have to scale it back before I'm a crazy person who stares at a computer 24-hours a day.

Mr. SLS has been gone for almost two weeks and it's actually been cool. We've had more funny phone conversations than usual which is a trip. I miss him, but it's been nice being alone, too. I've done some drinking and hanging out with the girls and I might go catch the Harry Potter movie tonight.

In any case, here's something I made last night while I was bored. I got the idea from CreoleInDC who makes these using conversations with her husband. This is loosely based on a conversation Mr. SLS and I had yesterday.

NOTE: A mouse ran out from under the bed in the middle of the night last week scaring me to death.

Monday, July 6, 2009

My mother will be here this weekend

She's coming to help me pack up my house. I told you I would make the moves and get this house on the market! My goal is to have it sold by the end of the year (praying to the real estate buddha to make my house move fast). Not trying to get rich just trying to sell and move on.

On another note, I talked to my brother maybe...3 times last weekend. That's 3 more times than in the last year. Somehow, some way he has turned a corner. He sounds more upbeat and hopeful about his future. Maybe he found the baby Jesus, I don't know but whatever it is, I hope it continues.

Saturday, July 4, 2009


OK, so I kept the niece and nephew again but by myself this time and it was...interesting.

I've realized (and communicated) that crying doesn't bother me or make me change my mind or make me yell or anything else. You can cry to your heart's content. Good luck with that.

But we worked on offering your seat to a lady, honesty, tattling, whining, crying when we can't have our way, actions having consequences, sharing and holding hands when crossing the street.

Mr. SLS was able to check in once during a break in his day and we talked about what I learned from the day this morning as he was packing for his annual two week military adventure.

All in all, it was a decent experience that showed me what my skills -- and limitations -- might be as a mom.