I was sooooooo mad, if she had been anybody but my mama I KNOW my snap response when she came at me with her craziness would have been "BITCH PLEASE!"
I apologized later -- for snapping not for what I said -- but she pushed the wrong button by essentially asking me to take responsibility for my 33-year-old brother.
Here's what I said: I didn't have him YOU did, so if you want to keep throwing good money after bad and wasting energies and fretting yourself to death, I can't stop you.
But I long ago made my peace with the fact that he will *never* be the brother I wanted, so for me, he is just a dude I share DNA with that my parents see fit to take care of even though he is a grown ass man who can work and provide for himself.
So I suggest you stop hoping he will become the son you wanted and accept that what he is now is who he is and work from there...
At the same time you need to accept that *I* am not going to pick up this burden and carry it because you are tired. If you are tired, stop. If he ends in up the gutter, then know that's where he wants to be.
As Mr. SLS says, take your victories where you can get them.
OK, when I wrote this I was still mad. But last night I was reminded that my mama is being the best mom she knows how to be to me and my brother.
I was talking to her while waiting at my house for a man to come by and talk to me briefly about some business related to the house. My phone ran out of juice and died in the middle of our conversation which is right when the guy arrived.
When I got home about 30 minutes later my mom had called Mr. SLS and he was about to come to the house while she also had her finger poised over the 911 keys ready to dispatch law enforcement. From her perspective, man arrived, phone went dead. Something is wrong, send out the cavalry.
To sum up, like any mother, my mama just wants the best for me and my brother and I might not agree with her method in dealing with my brother, but it's what she feels she has to do.
How can I fault her for that?