"There are notes between notes, you know." -- Sarah Vaughan

Thursday, October 29, 2009

My room?

Last Christmas we decorated a room that was just for me. It's my sanctuary. I love my little personal space room.

When we were moving me out of my house last month, a lot of stuff got pushed in there and it took me a minute to face clearing it out.

Last weekend Mr. SLS said, baby you aren't going to use your room anymore? And I explained that I just had to get in the right frame of mind so that I could clear it out. He said to tell him where I wanted stuff to go and he would move it. I told him, he moved some stuff, that gave me the push I needed to get the rest sorted out and I was back in my room on Sunday.

On Tuesday I was in there at my desk doing stuff and watching my TV and he came in and hooked up my little stereo for me.

So how is it I come home on Wednesday, he has connected his PS3 to my TV and is all comfy cozy in there playing games and whatnot? HE DIDN'T WANT THE ROOM CLEARED OUT FOR ME! HE WANTED IT CLEARED OUT FOR HIM!

He denies this. But he is in there right now and I am in the bedroom.

::gathering up a weapons arsenal so I can storm the fortress and take back my kingdom::

I forgot to note this earlier in the week...

But I hit my 500th post mark.

Yay to me for wasting a whole lotta time typing to a bunch of people who don't know me! I'm so smrt. (<--yes, I meant to misspell that)

It has been fun though and I've managed to stumble onto some of your blogs which are wayyyyyyyy more informative and entertaining to me than the coffee grounds of my life.

Let's go for 1,000! Who's with me?

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Helping hands

Last week I was running late. OK, I'm lateish everyday but last week I was running later than usual because Mr. SLS wasn't going to school so he got up later and he's my clock.

Anyways, I jumped up and said, DAMN! I have 20 mins to get to work! I run for the shower and tell Mr. SLS to pull some stuff out for me to put on.

I get out of the shower and see that he has dug down deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep in my drawer underneath many, many, MANY pairs of underwear and found some red lace boyshorts that I not only would not ever wear to work, I have never worn outside our bedroom.

I look at him, look at the panties, look at him and blink.

He says, "Well, I knew you would need underwear...."

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Spanking -- yay or nay?

If you have children, do you spank them? Why or why not?

If you don't have kids, but hope to have them, will you spank your children? Why or why not?

I didn't get spanked a lot but I was spanked. Mostly from my mom because my dad was the nuclear option. If he spanked us we had *really* done something wrong.

For example: When my brother was learning to walk he would crawl up the stairs at our house. One day I waited patiently at the top of the stairs until he got to the top and slammed the door in his face. He fell all the way back down the stairs. My daddy spanked me. And he should have cause that was some devil spawn ish. What if I had killed my brother??! My mama gave me some more when she got home and heard the story. My Grandma might have added some licks in when she heard about it, too. Granny has never spanked me. Neither did either of my grandfathers.

But for the most part, I was rotten. I cried and had tantrums when I didn't get my way. I did that until I was maybe 11, which was too damn old for all that, but my parents didn't break me. Grandma did, though. She gave me the old "I better not see one tear fall from your eye or I'm going to give you something to cry about!" business and I learned to keep my eyes bone dry.

I also manipulated my parents and grandparents. My Granny never liked my mama and I picked up on that really early so I knew if my mama told me no, all I had to do was tell Granny that my mama said no and whatever it was I wanted I would get it. That worked for a long, long, LONNNNNNNNNNNG time.

WIll I spank my kid? If we are blessed with a child I will discipline him or her appropriately based on age and infraction. Mr. SLS and I have discussed this and are on the same page.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Update on my bro-in-law

Though we were prepared to say no you can't move into my house (click here for background post), we didn't have to say anything.

Unlike my sister-in-law who is quite oblivious to the obvious, my brother-in-law figured out that we weren't feeling that plan and went ahead and found an apartment for his family. No pouting or hard feelings or any of the dramatics we would have gotten had this been sister-in-law. They did ask us for help in selling some of their stuff on Craigslist and I've been posting pics and stuff for them and getting stuff sold.

And they did need a cash influx, which we gave, but even then, it was more, "whatever we could give them that wouldn't hurt us" rather than a demand for any specific amount.

It is their turn to host Thanksgiving and Christmas but we're doing it this year and we will be more generous with Christmas gifts for the kids than usual (I don't like to buy toys for children, so we tend to give books, sing-a-long CDs, dinosaur kits and stuff like that).

So no hard feelings or hate or anything.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Some folks got "Good Hair" twisted

I have friend who said she didn't like the movie. She felt it should have been a doc OR a comedy. She also doesn't like Chris Rock.

I, of course, enjoyed it as did Mr. SLS. But then, we *love* Chris Rock. In fact, for my birthday last year we went to see him perform.

I didn't approach this movie thinking it would be anything more than what it is -- a movie-length funny look at the craziness that is hair in the black community. I don't know how anyone who saw the previews could think it would be anything BUT that. Did you see the cast: Ice T? Video Vixen chickie? Derek J of Real Housewives fame? C'mon people.

I think part of the problem is that some people are taking this black hair thing too damn far. CreoleinDC has posted a few times about the "high hair priestesses" on her blog. In sum up, they are women who are fanatic about natural hair and generally believe if you opt for straightened or relaxed hair then you are selling out and adhering to the "white media's" brainwashing or some such bullshit.

This is MY hair and if I want it straight I'll wear it straight. If you want cornrows or twists or dreds or whatever on your head, do that, but that looks like shit on me. I don't have to prove I'm the blackest or downest or closest to my African ancestors via my hair or clothes or activities.

I've had braids and two-strand twists and a natural 'fro. All of that was a bad look for me and when I got tired of looking fugged up, I relaxed my situation and now I'm cute as all get out again and all is right in MY world.

Some of the same folks screaming "down with relaxers" are keeping McDonalds in money and get mad when they can't get their free fried chicken from Popeye's. Natural and healthy is only important when it's your hair. That's dumb to me.

As for "Good Hair" -- it got folks talking about hair in the black community. Good. ::runs comb through relaxed hair::

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Patience is a virtue...that I don't have

I have a hard time *not* showing my annoyance with people who cannot think for themselves and/or don't take initiative.

I am not a micromanager and I don't like (or need to be) micromanaged. We are all adults and know what we have to do and when it needs to be done. I expect you to do your shit and I will do mine. If I have a problem I will let someone know in enough time that we can still meet the deadline or change it if that's what's needed. I expect the people I work with to do the same.

That means, you need to have the confidence to be able to make decisions. (yes, I'm switching tenses and voices here just stay with me dammit)

If you interrupt what I'm doing to ask me if you should move the widget one smidge to the right, my kneejerk reaction is to talk to you as if you are stupid, because, YOU are working with the widget, right? Does it need to be moved a smidge to the right? Well, hell, move it then, damn!

Now, I know this is not the best way to "manage" and I am working on that, but I need some mofos around here to work on thinking for themselves as this is a two-way street. Use your brain. It's there, I've seen glimpses of it. Eat some cheese in the morning so it will kick into gear, then ride the rails with that mofo.

Then maybe at the end of the day we can sing kumbaya or something rather than me wanting to ninja kick yo' dumb ass in the head.


Sunday, October 18, 2009

Heard over the weekend...

And I was jamming to it in my car! Took me back to some good times from back in the day.

Mr. SLS and I hung out with some of his friends from high school and had a blast. It reminded me that there were all these years we didn't know each other and all these experiences we didn't share together that brought us to today.

Anyway, have a great week and I'll try to give you one or two more posts before Friday.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Not feeling this blogging thing..

I sometimes start something gangbusters and then lose steam halfway through. Not with everything and not with important things, but it happens.

Like, for example, with this blog.

So here:

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Good friends and blessings!!

Five years ago one of my best friends called and said, hey, a friend of mine is moving to town to go do her Ph.D work at a university there and her apartment won't be ready until two weeks after school starts. Can she stay with you for the two weeks?

I said sure. That two weeks became two months thanks to back to back hurricanes preventing the moving people from delivering her stuff.

One of my early dates with Mr. SLS was a play that we went to with that short-term guest and some other friends. She pegged him as "the one" that night, deciding she liked him after she saw how he handled me. That short-term guest would coordinate my wedding and reception.

She's taken care of my cats -- buying them gifts and treats -- driven my mama back to our hometown, taken care of my little cousin, checked up on my other friend pursuing a Ph.D and just in general been a damn good friend.

Today, she came by to help me get my stuff together for my graduate school application.

My grandma says some folks are a blessing. This friend has definitely been a blessing to me.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Are you a NIMBY?

I've been following a discussion on a neighborhood blog about development in our community and it's interesting to see some of the views shared.

Made me think, am I a NIMBY? On some things, yes.

We own homes in my family. From the top to the bottom, 100 percent. We own homes. I have been a renter, but once I could see my way able to purchase I did and that was that. It was never something I thought was out of reach or unattainable and I wasn't rich when I did it.

I also didn't try to buy my dream home when I purchased. I bought what I could afford because it was important to me to own and I know how to defer a dream. I also knew that the best way to get that dream house was to leverage a smaller, starter house.

We've been looking casually at houses and one of the things that turns me off from a house is if it's close to (across from, next to, behind) an apartment building. I'm also drawn more to the suburban-type neighborhoods. And if I see a gaggle of folks hanging out on a corner, it's a big HELL NO. That signals a sidewalk covered in chicken wing bones, broken Chandon bottles and The Wire to me.

Mr. SLS grew up here and those things aren't the blights to him that they are for me. For him, it's the cost of city living.

Anyway, these are just random rambling thoughts....

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Opportunities abound...

I am doing my best to take advantage of them.

How do you handle multiple plans at a time when all roads lead to different outcomes?

We've decided to start our next cycle in January so we can offset some of the out-of-pocket costs via a flexible spending account. I used up this year's FSA set aside with the two tests last week.

But there's this thing at work I want to do and I'm getting some intel about it now. And then I'm working on my grad school app this weekend. Deadline for that is December 1, but I want it in by November 15.

We're thinking about going to Argentina to celebrate new years. I'm excited!

I hope you are all having a great day!

Monday, October 5, 2009

I'm going to hell

My bro-in-law lost his job for doing something he had no business. He and his wife want to move into my house I have listed for sale/rent.

Here's the reason why I'm going to hell in a handbasket: I just spent a grip getting this house ready for sale and am not inclined to have them, their four kids and great big vicious scary ass dog moving in it messing all that up. Especially since they can't afford to pay the rent I quoted or any amount close to it.

Mr. SLS says he ain't inclined to be helpful because his brother is damn near 50 doing the same stupid ish, and what he did is very very very stupid.

I happen to like my bro-in-law's wife, and LOVE their kids, and I would not want them in the street. I told Mr. SLS either we let them stay in the house now or we end up giving them money later.

Mr. SLS said let's just mull it over. But, it's my house, so ultimately I have the last word.

We will do the right thing.