Last summer, my husband and I rented a house with another couple for two weeks. We've all been close friends for many years, and I considered the wife to be my best friend. Recently my husband confessed to having slept with her once during our vacation, after we'd all had too much to drink and the other husband and I had gone to sleep. He begged me not to reveal to my friend that he told me, since, of course, they had sworn themselves to secrecy. I have forgiven my husband for being stupid. I know that he loves me and has no intention of repeating what happened, but my feelings toward my friend are very ambivalent. If I can forgive my husband, I should also be able to forgive her, but this is difficult because I can't talk things out with her without giving away my husband. It's also very hard for me to maintain our formerly close friendship knowing about this breach of trust. Should I just try to forgive and forget, or spill the beans and possibly wreck a longtime four-way friendship? -- Ambivalent
I won't post the response, you need to click on through and give Slate.com their Web traffic so they can keep doing what they do, but I will give you MY response if I were writing this column:
Dear Ambivalent: This ain't even a problem. You don't maintain a "friendship" with someone who would sleep with your husband. I can't think of ANY situation where this would be alright. That is not a friend. And I'm side-eyeing your husband, too, cause of all the women in all of the world, why he gotta cheat with your friend?! Cause she was there and accessible? Lazy bastard! And then ask you to keep it a secret that you know cause he doesn't want her to know he betrayed HER trust by telling you about how they cheated together and betrayed YOU? Do you see the craziness of all this now that I have written it out for you?
Dat ho would be dead to me. Husband would get cut. Stop playing. -- SingLikeSassy