"There are notes between notes, you know." -- Sarah Vaughan

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

What I'm listening to right now...

This is on constant rotation:

And I stumbled on this one the other day and peeped Mr. SLS to it so he bought it:

And if you follow me on twitter you know that Jobim is always in my ear:

And for some reason this has been on spin:

Finally, this has been in and out of the rotation for a minute now:


Friday, July 16, 2010

Who's in your corner?

When you're messing up, who checks you? Do your friends just sit back and say, "OK, if that's what you wanna do," or do they pull you to the side and really question you about the choices you are making?

I know the women in my circle will question me and I do the same for them. This isn't about the negative nellies, or haterade, that's different. This is real talk. People who care about me and my future and care that my actions or choices could be putting both in jeopardy.

I think that's part of friendship. But I see a situation where friends are letting another person make what could be a mistake. And, from my perspective, it's because THEY have their own interests at heart. It's hard to watch. I don't get "yes men."

I'm not saying that sometimes people shouldn't have to learn the hard way -- hardhead makes a soft ass and many folks learn by lesson rather than lecture -- but I think friends look out for each other. To do otherwise seems...wrong to me.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

A Thank You To My Friends

I was reflecting on the past few weeks and my calendar for the weeks ahead and thinking about how my girlfriends have made sure I am up and out of the house. I've had some activity of some kind on the agenda nearly every weekend. I've been BUSY doing things and having a really great summer rather than sitting around reflecting on what might have been...

Thank y'all so much!!!!

Saturday, July 10, 2010

I've decided to quit my job...

i quit Pictures, Images and Photos
Next year sometime. It's not that I hate it, it's that I don't love it. I want to be doing something I love. Don't you?

So I'll spend the next few months coming up with a plan and then I'm quitting the gig.

If you have any suggestions for how to do this, pass them along pls. Thanks!

July Fourth weekend recap!

OK, I've been both lazy and busy so I'm just getting to this post about my holiday weekend.

Mr. SLS's military band tours for two weeks (sometimes they stay in the area, sometimes they travel to fun faraway places) every year starting the Fourth of July weekend and I usually volunteer to work so I can make a little money. Since the work holiday was on Monday this year I had the whole weekend free and I told a friend I hadn't hung out with in a long while to find something fun for us to do.

She wrote me back that we were going to join a friend couple of hers on their boat for the weekend. I'm all about the water, so I was in. We packed up beer, wine, liquor, water, snacks, her dog, bathing suits and left early Saturday morning to go down to Chesapeake Bay. The boat was gorgeous and had three sleeping quarters, a kitchen, two bathrooms -- all the creature comforts I needed.

We set out on the boat and found this cove where we tied our boat to another boat that belonged to some friends of theirs and we all relaxed with drinks.

I remembered that the guy who owned the boat we were on used to date my friend years and years ago and I asked her what happened with that and she said he was too wild for her and that he and his fiance were into sharing. I said, sharing what? And she said swinging. I said, oh. *blink* Then I realized that it was just the four of us on the boat so the chances of anything weird happening were slim to none, and I went off to read a book and have some quiet time.

Later I joined the boat owner and his fiance on the other boat and I noticed the conversation was...risque. I'm not a square but I don't like sitting around talking about chexual stuffs in groups. They were making comments that I guess were supposed to be funny and cute, but were just too much, IMO. I jumped in the water and stayed there for two hours.

We went back to the boat slip and my friend and our hosts started drinking and playing a truth or dare game. It seemed innocent enough so I watched and even joined in at first...except, it went left real quick. Suddenly one person was nekkid, one woman was sucking on another woman's tatas, someone was licking stuff off dude's belly and I'm sitting there with my body language registering my disapproval. I know this because they kept saying I was rated G and that they were keeping it lowkey!! because I was there....

The whole time this is going on, I'm texting about it to Mr. SLS who is mad that my friend took me on this trip with people who were obviously not my style. He was feeling some kinda way.

I guess I was busting up everybody's groove so the festivities ended and we all went to bed. Well, how about *I* went to bed and I think that THEY -- all three of them -- went into the master bedroom. I can't say for sure though.......

The thing that trips me out about this -- aside from just the general this ain't me-ness of it -- is my friend's earlier comment that seemed to disapprove of their lifestyle when she seemed willing to get close and personal with both of them.

Anyway, it was certainly different from other holiday weekends I've had, that's for sure.

P.S. I wish I had a boat! I loved being out on the water. Sigh.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Faith, Religion and the Church

I don't go to church. I've never quite felt "at home" in a church the way other people seem to feel.

Now, that doesn't mean I don't believe or don't have faith, I just don't go to church.

I wasn't raised in the church as many of my friends were -- Sunday school and church on Sunday, Bible study on Wednesday, church camp, usher board, Christian youth group -- so the foundation wasn't really laid as a kid. Church was an option for me because my parents were made to go to church growing up and they didn't want us to feel forced to go.

In my 20s and early 30s I tried to create what I thought I was supposed to feel and do in churches. I visited churches and tried to get involved, but it all felt false and one day I decided it was OK for me not to attend church.

One thing I didn't do in church was meet men and date. I wasn't there for that purpose. I was too busy trying to figure out how to become the good Christian I thought I was expected to be so that I wouldn't go to hell. Also, I knew I was struggling and assumed a really religious man would be a poor fit for me (and vice versa).

That said, there has always been a meme in the black community about finding your husband in the church, having a spiritual head for your family and being equally yoked.

Lottie over at 30 Something has a post asking if black churches keep black women single. You should check it out and weigh in on the discussion.