"There are notes between notes, you know." -- Sarah Vaughan

Friday, July 16, 2010

Who's in your corner?

When you're messing up, who checks you? Do your friends just sit back and say, "OK, if that's what you wanna do," or do they pull you to the side and really question you about the choices you are making?

I know the women in my circle will question me and I do the same for them. This isn't about the negative nellies, or haterade, that's different. This is real talk. People who care about me and my future and care that my actions or choices could be putting both in jeopardy.

I think that's part of friendship. But I see a situation where friends are letting another person make what could be a mistake. And, from my perspective, it's because THEY have their own interests at heart. It's hard to watch. I don't get "yes men."

I'm not saying that sometimes people shouldn't have to learn the hard way -- hardhead makes a soft ass and many folks learn by lesson rather than lecture -- but I think friends look out for each other. To do otherwise seems...wrong to me.

3 comments:

  1. You are right, but some situations are pretty complicated and have multiple good and bad solutions. That's when it gets hard to know what advice to follow, how much to compromise, and whether your own gut instinct is based on practicality or emotion. I wish my husband's friends or fans or whatever they are were as supportive to him in a realistic and practical way as my friends are to me. They are all "yes" men, every last one of them. Is that a guy thing or something?

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  2. Cyndy: Interesting you would bring up a guy, because I'm talking about a guy! His friends are watching him do something and not a one has said, wait, think about this or whatever, they are all "yes" men. It must be a guy thing.

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  3. Anonymous7/24/2010

    that's because it is wrong. you really can learn about people based on who surrounds them. trouble is, folks don't show the "real" side until something bad, trying or otherwise serious happens.

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