"There are notes between notes, you know." -- Sarah Vaughan

Thursday, August 26, 2010

I thought I would never be this person but...

I let someone else's good news make me feel bad on Tuesday.

A friend of mine announced on his Fbook page that he and his wife's baby is due the first week in January.

Admittedly my VERY FIRST response was "That's so great!" I hit the like button before anyone else.

Then I started crying. I went to the bathroom and stood in a stall and said to myself, "what the hell am I crying about?!"

I couldn't stop crying but I forced myself to because I had a meeting to attend. I wiped my face but it was obvious I had been crying. I said I had a bad headache when asked if I were OK, which wasn't a lie: my head was hurting from trying so hard to not cry in front of these people.

Meeting ended, I went BACK to the bathroom and cried. Then I went back to my desk.

Finally, I left work early and went home, crying all the way (it's an 8 minute drive, thank goodness I didn't use public transpo that day!).

I got home and the screen door was locked so I lay against the door crying and knocking and Mr. SLS came to the door and asked "what happened? what's wrong?! are you hurt?!!!"

I cry/snot/short breath bursts blurt out that somebody was having a baby and it was due when our baby would have been due and then I ran upstairs and lay on the bed and cried into the duvet cover. He came up and rubbed my back and hugged me until I fell asleep.

4 comments:

  1. Just wanted to send you a cyber hug.

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  2. I just wish I could hug you tight. I can't possibly know how hard it is for you.

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  3. Sending prayers your way to ease your pain. I am so sorry.

    ReplyDelete

Use your inside voice ... or I'll put you outside. -- SingLikeSassy