"There are notes between notes, you know." -- Sarah Vaughan

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Who's the Boss?

I watch the show Mad Men and it's a show about the characters more than it is about any activity, though advertising is done a bit here and there.

But there's one character (the blonde lady in the pic) who divorced her husband (dark-haired fella in the pic) and remarried. And she and her new husband live in the house she shared with her ex-husband. The house he bought.

For some reason that's been bothering me and I was about to post something on Facebook about it when I realized something: I live in the house that my husband lived in with his ex-wife.

Now, I can tell you that his house was always a placeholder as our plan was to sell/rent mine, then sell/rent his and buy something together. And I can tell you that I moved in with HIM because he was uncomfortable moving into MY house. He wanted us to live in the house that he had bought for his family (along with his house being closer to amenities and walking distance to my job).

And while I felt a little bit some kinda way about this (<--how about my mama says this all of the time now? She says it's the perfect expression for how she feels at given moments) in the beginning because my house is bigger, I have to admit that I mostly believe in traditional roles for husbands and wives, e.g. the husband is the provider, the wife is the homemaker. So I moved my stuff in and started making it into our home (last wife was trife and didn't decorate or nuttin'). And (when it comes) my rent that I get for my house is my money. I don't pay the light bill, the water bill, the cable bill -- nothing.

I'm good.

(Bringing it on back to why I started this post) This is why I am puzzled about why a man would be comfortable living in the house that another man bought for his wife. Seems to me he would need to get somewhere else for them to live, something HE had provided as a husband. And this dude is wealthy so money is not the issue. He complained about it once and then it's never been mentioned again, as far as I can tell.

What do guys think?

6 comments:

  1. Anonymous9/19/2010

    dunno. seems a reach for the time mad men depicts.

    and in hindsight, i find it interesting that da hubs wouldn't move to your house. makes me wonder whether it was a commitment issue.

    and let's talk about those traditional roles. folks like us are cool with that up to a point. up to a point.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think because the new husband is wealthy enough that he doesn't need to prove that he can provide. And it's less of an upheaval for the kids. Also I think the wife likes making her ex jealous by living in the house with her new husband.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm a fairweather MM watcher and agree that situation has puzzled me, as well. I wonder if it has something to do with her own insecurities? In the sense that she doesn't want to have to depend on another man to provide. In his case, regardless of how wealthy he is, I find myself questioning his "authority" in their marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hmm,
    I don't watch Mad Men because I don't have cable -lol. But maybe it was just easier for him to move in her home, especially if she had children. Maybe they thought it would be an easier transition, not too much of an inconvenience.

    However, I've seen both cases in "real" life. I've seen a woman move into her new husband's home and a man move into his new wife's home. In one instance, the wife always reminded the husband that it was "her" home that she had "paid" for - not a nice situation. Eventually, they finally got something together and the resentment was gone. But of course, other stuff came up and this relationship didn't last.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Freeman9/29/2010

    I too watch Mad Men (surprise) and I know exactly what you are talking about. From a Man perspective I tell you I couldn't move into another man's house. So for Mad Men reasons I would've moved away or dealt with it until the kids finished that year of school.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think because the new husband is wealthy enough that he doesn't need to prove that he can provide. And it's less of an upheaval for the kids. Also I think the wife likes making her ex jealous by living in the house with her new husband.

    ReplyDelete

Use your inside voice ... or I'll put you outside. -- SingLikeSassy