I always cook (I'm better at it and enjoy it) and I always fix Mr. SLS's plate. Sometimes I'll even put it on a tray and take it to him. I don't think of it as being subservient or submissive. I do it because it is a loving gesture for me, but also because that is how the women in my family raised me. My mother did it for my dad and my stepmom does it for him now (if she's not around, I do it). My aunts do it for my uncles. My cousin does it for her husband. I've also noticed that Mr. SLS's sister and sister-in-law do it for their husbands.
A couple of summers ago when Mr. SLS and I went to Hilton Head with my family, my uncle brought his girlfriend along. I fixed Mr. SLS's plate while uncle's girlfriend sat at the table waiting after fixing her plate. My uncle watched me bring my husband's plate to him and said very pointedly to his girlfriend who had been pressing him to get married: "See that is how you get a husband."
Now, my uncle is 60-some years old and has traditional views of the roles women play in a marriage. My father is also oldschool and loves my stepmom. She fixes his plate and is sometimes a shortorder cook for him, he makes sure she can buy shoes and handbags because she likes to shop and that her BMW is always in tiptop shape, among other things. My stepmom told me no one has ever loved her like my dad does. My dad has been happy for the past 20 years.
A friend of mine recalled a story about the way her mother-in-law's husband sat and waited for his plate to be made at a Thanksgiving dinner and how she told her husband if he EVER sat around waiting on her to do that he would be hungry (I think I'm remembering this right).
So here's the discussion point: Do you do this for your spouse/significant other? If so, why? If not, why?