"There are notes between notes, you know." -- Sarah Vaughan

Friday, December 31, 2010

Thanks, thanks and thanks, again

A lot of jacked up stuff happened this year.

My Granny died.

My marriage crashed and burned.

I got pregnant from our last IVF cycle, but it ended up being an ectopic pregnancy.

My mama had another mini-stroke.

My brother had a heart attack.

My tenants decided to stop paying rent and D.C. is making it hard as hell for me to evict them.

I got shingles.

I lost and gained 30 pounds.

I got an $8k bill from the IRS because I made an error on our taxes.

I could go on. And on.

But this post is really about saying thanks.

Thank you to Honeysmoke, TiffanyInHouston, Stylin' & Profilin', TravelDiva, Lottie, CreoleinDC and every other person who has looked out for me this year. Every one of you who let me cry, who listened to me whine, who convinced me to get the hell out of the house, who read my stories on this blog and offered some advice or a woo woo woo. ALL Y'ALL!

I just wanted all of you to know, I appreciate you. And thank you.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Mamas: You can live with them and you can't live without them!

My mama cleaned her "room" (it's really my office that doubles as a guest room but she calls it "her room") before she left! I guess she noted all my nervous tics from the mess.

However she did call me at 7:58 a.m. (I didn't hear the phone, I was asleep) and left a message saying, "OH! I forgot that you don't get up until 8:15 a.m. then do a crazy race to get out of house and get to work by 9:15 a.m. even though you should be there at 9 a.m. I'll call back in 20 minutes."

O__o to my mama whom I love love love! LOL!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Hope and Prayers

Every holiday, without fail, some drama comes up with my brother. We have spent many a Christmas/Thanksgiving/Fourth of July/Labor Day evening in the ER.

My brother has always been the more healthy-looking and active one of us two because he played sports. But then about two years ago he suddenly put on a LOT of weight. I'm talking a LOOOOOOTT of weight. As a result he now has heart troubles and high blood pressure.

If you recall from this post, health issues kept my brother from our Granny's funeral and my parents -- and the doc -- gave him some ultimatums: take your meds, lose some weight, get your life together, or die.

According to my parents and uncle, he started taking the meds and exercising again and he has lost some weight. By all measures he was DOING something and for my brother, this is monumental because he has stood still in the same place for several years.

But last night my dad called: my brother had a heart attack. He's 34.

Luckily he is alive and my mom has talked to him. We managed to rebook my mom's travel arrangements that were canceled yesterday and she's heading home in an hour.

This is the kind of thing that will set my brother back rather than spur him to try even harder to get healthy. That's his nature.

So I ask here for your prayers that his health AND his motivation is restored.


Sunday, December 26, 2010

Why I Can't Live With My Mother

I am not squeaky clean by anyone's measure, but I do like things to be neat and I do have a certain way I like for things to be done.

Still, aren't there some things that are universally done?

My mama is messy. As hell. I MEAN MESSY. And it's funny that all the things she complains about my brother doing, she does.

Like, for example, leaving her plate on the kitchen counter NEXT to the sink. I don't understand that!

Leaving cups and spoons and bottles all over the house from her coffee/cocoa/sparkling water breaks.

Pots in the refrigerator.

Empty ice trays.

Towel on the bathroom floor. TOWEL ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR.

Coat(s), scarf and hat laying on the sofa (we have a hook behind the front door for all coats, hats and scarves).

After she got my office/guest room all messy and disorganized, she decided to come in my bedroom and bring a whole bunch of blankets and books and cups.

I love my mama, I do. But she gotta go the hell home! My nerves are bad! I'm about to turn Rainman on her!! Please baby jesus, hold the snow for one more day so I can get her back down South and safely in her own house among her mess.

::lights cigarette, chases Xanax with vodka to steady hands::

Thursday, December 23, 2010

I got nothing for you today...

Nothing gossip-y or mean or personal, that is, but I DO want to extend a Christmas blessing to each and every one of you who joins me here in this space.

I know this year has given many of us some sharp lefts and rights, but we're still HERE so let's be thankful and send out many good vibes for a wonderful new year.

Hug your kids, hug your wife and hug your husbands. Run and tell dat! (OK, I did riff a little on Antoine there but you get what I'm saying...)

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

SMILE! You're on Candid Camera!

I was raised that you don't take pictures with any and everybody. My parents said you never know how that photo will be used later so be judicious about who (and how) you are captured skinnin' and grinnin' with.

That was an easy rule to follow before cell phones, but now I stay extra careful cause I don't want any crazy pics of me popping up on the Interwebz ruining any future career and romance options.

There seems to be a new phenomenom (new to me anyway) in the dating world where dudes want you to text them pics. Let me step back. Dudes you just met want you to send them a pic. What is that about?! Why would I send you a pic of me? Who are you again?! No. I'm married (still) and I've only sent my husband one or two pics of me via phone because I wanted him to see my freshly done hair or something like that. I damn sho ain't sending some strange dude my pic.

Ladies, are you doing this? Please tell me no. I know this has been an issue with the young peoples and sending nekkid pics, but please tell me that grown azz women are not clicking pics -- nekkid or otherwise! -- and sending 'em to random dudes?

Guys, are you making these requests? Why? What do you intend to do with these photos?? What is this about?! 'Splain this!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Do you do this, too?

When I first moved here I wasn't used to a cold winter. I didn't have heavy coats, gloves, scarves and all that.

It took me four years to cave and get a real coat.

It took me another two years to get hats, gloves and all that.

Now I have several coats -- casual, dress, trench, short and long. I even have two vintage fur coats my Granny gave me.

What I have not bought are snow boots. I need some snow boots. I have been looking at snow boots for at least two years. Why won't I buy snow boots?! I saw some cute ones on sale this weekend and I looked at them and thought, I should get those but then I thought, well, maybe next time.

How many years do you think I'm going to let my foot get wet before I buy some snow boots? I have lived here for 11 years now.

O_o <--side-eyeing my own self.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Mamas know their babies!

So this weekend I had something cosmetic done. It's verrrrry subtle. Very subtle.

I saw two people who have known for me 10 years immediately after I had this done. Neither of them noticed.

My husband didn't notice, though he did keep looking at me so I think he sensed something was changed but wasn't quite sure.

When I picked my mom up last night the first thing she said before hello or hugging or kissing me was, "you got blahblah done! it looks good!"

My mama hasn't seen me since September.

The end.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Real World Tami: What The Hell Happened?

I got a chance to watch the premiere of the second season of Basketball Wives (DON'T ASK ME WHY, JUST READ THE POST DAMMIT!)and my mouth was hanging open at what has happened to Tami Akbar aka Tami Anderson aka Tami Roman.

See, while I didn't watch much of the first season of Basketball Wives, I watched each and every episode of the first Real World: Los Angeles, including this episode that led to that guy who ran off at the mouth too much getting kicked out of the house.

Now, I'm looking at the show today and wondering why she has this jacked up weave, is all covered in great big tattoos and is generally looking a hot mess. Life has not been kind to this sista.

Also, she says the day before she married Kenny Anderson he presented her with a prenup and she signed it and ended up with nothing after leaving him for his infidelities. Now, she says that like we should feel sorry for her, but, she also said she had $70,000 from the Real World in her pocket when she married him.

Why didn't she pinch off some of that stash and pay for an attorney to review the prenup? She signed it, it said she got nothing and, when the marriage ended the prenup kicked in and she got nothing. As a result, she and their two daughters had to use food stamps for awhile.

OK. But looks like she's spending plenty money on cheap hair and tats. I'm just sayin'.

In any case, check out this season preview and join me on my new trash TV journey!

I'd also like to note that they have all this music and stuff going on with this season trying to make it kinda like Laguna Beach or something. O__o

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Sigh. I miss my Granny

I promised to make this dish for the office potluck. I make this dish every holiday season so I only have to pick up one ingredient to make it happen cause the rest of the stuff is in the cupboard.

I was thinking in my head about the timing this evening for making it and something seemed off. I know I have all the ingredients. What is it?

And then it occurred to me what was missing: Granny. I always called her when I was making this dish! And she would talk me through it, even though I know how to make it.

Sometimes she would say, throw a pinch of this in it or you know, if you season with this, it gives it a fuller flavor.


Lesson learned?

Remember a couple of months ago I wrote about a friend who had done some cross country moving to be with an SO who broke up with her when the long distance became too much?

Well, now they are broken up for good and she wants to come back to the right coast. I am sad about that because I like both of them and had hopes they would work out.

But it does make me wonder about commitments and such. I have a coworker who is in a longterm committed relationship -- including a child -- and they are more solid than many of the married people I know. I have another coworker who is divorced and in a longterm relationship that seems happy. Both couples are in it for the longhaul and jumping the broom isn't important to them.

I am focused on marriage because...why? Does the piece of paper matter or the level of commitment?

And frankly given the demise of my marriage, am I focused on marriage NOW?

Marriage was important to me because I wanted a family. With the likelihood of my having a family decreasing each day, I'm not sure I care about being married again.

That doesn't mean I don't want a companion or life partner or whatever, but I can't, AT THE MOMENT, see myself getting married again.

But then, I am licking wounds right now so...never say never.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Flirting with age

Old dudes like them some me. I'm not that into older dudes though.

Don't get me wrong, it's flattering for them to flirt with me (when it's respectful), but I'm just not into older dudes.

Every Sunday I go to Whole Foods to get my fruit and sparkling water for the week and fresh flowers. (side note: I like coming in everyday to fresh flowers in a vase. It brightens my mood).

ANYWAY last Sunday I was in line to buy my stuff and this little girl in front of me with pretty hair was whipping it back and forth. I laughed and she hugged her Grandad (who looked like a slightly younger Melvin Van Peebles and was prolly realllll smooth back in his day) and he said she had gotten it done the day before. I told her whip away then!

Grandad then asked me my birthdate (not the year, just the month and day) and started talking to me about being an Aries and whether or not my personality fit those characteristics because he, too, was an Aries. Umhm.

I responded in a friendly way because he wasn't intrusive or slimy feeling. Little girl was still whipping and her mom was paying for the groceries and smiling at me cause I guess this ain't her first time with playa Grandpa.

I answer the questions and then suddenly little girl grabs my hand and says "NO! Do you know him? Don't tell him anything about you!!" and pulls Grandpa away from me. Not in a "stop talking to my Gramps you harlot" way, but in a "I'm saving you from something you don't understand" way.

We three grownups laugh, but I'm thinking "from the mouth of babes," and flashing on the many episodes I've watched of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit/Bones/Criminal Minds/NCIS, so I focus more on taking my stuff out of the basket and less on Grandpa's queries.

Shoooot. I wasn't lettin' Grandpa drink my blood so he could live another 100 years! LOL!

Monday, December 13, 2010

Um, what?

I was riding to work today and heard something on the radio that made me laugh and decided I would blog about that funny thing.

Whatever it was.

See, as I am getting older, I find that I need to write stuff down. Otherwise many of my thoughts are like fireflies, they flicker brightly, then float away.

So this is all you get today. A blog post about how I had planned to give you a different blog post but I forgot what I was going to write about and there's a chance I may remember it later and blog about it but I don't think so....

But I did have this thought last week that I meant to blog about! If Steve Harvey is so concerned about black people, why is he hawking buy one, get one Burger King chicken sandwiches?

See, all is not lost after all.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Perfect Endings...

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned -- the hard way -- that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end.

Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next."

-- Gilda Radner


I always loved myself, maybe a little bit too much, but still I like what 'Tasia is trying to say with this song. Best line in the whole song: I'd rather be by myself. I won't let your drama hold me down.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

A happy medium

I broke down this week and bought a Barbie for my niece. It's what she wanted.

I bought her four books, too, and I chose the fashion designer Barbie because she told me she wanted to do that when she grew up but, lawdy, it was hard. My finger hovered over the button for a full 10 minutes before I hit enter.

I *hate* buying toys for kids. It seems wasteful when so many of our kids are stupid.

I prefer books and college fund donations. Or activities. I'll take you to a movie, a museum, an amusement park or to paint some pottery -- stuff like that.

But toys? Half the time they are broken or forgotten about by mid-January. Meanwhile that book helps with reading skills and the college fund donation invests in the future.

Yes, I'm Ebbie Scrooge up in here.

Friday, December 3, 2010

You know what I hate?

I HATE when there is a problem and you try to sort out the problem by talking to your SO then once you hear what the problem is you begin addressing it...only to later find out, that ain't what the damn problem is at all!!

Meanwhile your SO has watched you twist yourself into knots trying to address what you THOUGHT the problem was when they know good and GOTdayum well that was NOT the problem.

Finally, once the truth comes out, don't get an attitude if there are questions and confusion when you set the whole thing off by lying and being misleading in the first place, hell.

Treat people the way you would have them treat you.

The damn end.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

I might get a dog.

So I'm considering adopting the three doggies below. Tell me what you think.

Benson is a 7 month old poodle. He looks bad. But he's sooooo cute.

Tramp is a poodle mix. He's 5 months old and also looks bad. But I feel like we might have a lot of fun together.

Tramp has a sister, Lady. She, too, is five months old, but rather than looking as if she might chew all your shoes up, she looks like she needs some love.

I can't take all of these dogs in obviously. I'm going to visit with them on Saturday to see which one I connect with the most. I'll try to take some pics and post them.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

It's Wednesday. Damn.

I work in the media field. This is a business where people are usually news junkies.

But, it's also a business full of nosy ass people. That irritates me.

I don't need or want to know everything. Don't get me wrong, I'm not incurious, I just don't need to know who the new person is that was walking down the hall as I headed to the elevator. I don't care about who that is until I have to work with them, which in most cases is never, otherwise I would know them already. I'll be nice and smile -- I do this with everyone I pass in the hallway -- but who they are is not something I'm pulling people to the side to ask and sending emails about.

I work with people who need to know this, though. Not because the person is odd-looking or hot/cute, but just because they are NEW and they feel they need to know everything about everyone in the building.

See, that's nosy to me.

I also work with folks who like to stress themselves out unnecessarily.

I try to spend my energy on things that will give us the most bang for the buck. If I know we are not pursuing a story because we've decided the news value is minimal, I do not waste time looking at photos and shit reporters send for that not very newsworthy story. We aren't doing it. ::Delete:: I don't care how pretty the photos are, pretty photos do not suddenly make the story newsworthy. Either it's news or it ain't.

But my coworkers stress out because, OMG! they sent photos. So? I can take a picture with my phone right now. We gonna freak out about that, too?

Perspective. Get some.