"There are notes between notes, you know." -- Sarah Vaughan

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Why I Can't Live With My Mother

I am not squeaky clean by anyone's measure, but I do like things to be neat and I do have a certain way I like for things to be done.

Still, aren't there some things that are universally done?

My mama is messy. As hell. I MEAN MESSY. And it's funny that all the things she complains about my brother doing, she does.

Like, for example, leaving her plate on the kitchen counter NEXT to the sink. I don't understand that!

Leaving cups and spoons and bottles all over the house from her coffee/cocoa/sparkling water breaks.

Pots in the refrigerator.

Empty ice trays.

Towel on the bathroom floor. TOWEL ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR.

Coat(s), scarf and hat laying on the sofa (we have a hook behind the front door for all coats, hats and scarves).

After she got my office/guest room all messy and disorganized, she decided to come in my bedroom and bring a whole bunch of blankets and books and cups.

I love my mama, I do. But she gotta go the hell home! My nerves are bad! I'm about to turn Rainman on her!! Please baby jesus, hold the snow for one more day so I can get her back down South and safely in her own house among her mess.

::lights cigarette, chases Xanax with vodka to steady hands::

5 comments:

  1. Girl, I know what you mean.
    My sister thinks she knows it all - including how to tell me how to drive - and my dad wants to debate with me about every little thing.

    And they wonder why I don't come home more often - LOL !

    Anyway, they're family and we love them. What would we do (or be) without them? So hug your mamma girl (and just grin and bear it:)

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  2. Anonymous12/26/2010

    okay, this is so funny i've got tears in my eyes.

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  3. LMAO! Don't you just love it when the fam comes to visit for the holidays?!?!?

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  4. She's comfortable, huh? ROFL!

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  5. LMAO! Don't you just love it when the fam comes to visit for the holidays?!?!?

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Use your inside voice ... or I'll put you outside. -- SingLikeSassy