"There are notes between notes, you know." -- Sarah Vaughan

Friday, January 28, 2011

I might be OCD

Mr. SLS is staying in the guest room/my office and he's got my nerves bad. HE IS MESSY. LIKE MY MAMA. I HAD FORGOTTEN.


I looked in there today before I left for work and there were dirty cups and saucers and a bowl in there, everything all askew and my blanket -- MY BLANKET -- was on the floor. He has been in there three days.


This morning I called him and he was like, "has it come to this?!" but I didn't feel like getting out of my bed or yelling and hell, the phone works.

Anyway, this living arrangment is temporary, though timely since it's been snowing and he's shoveled, taken the trash out and got groceries and stuff.

I'll try to overlook the mess.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Say YES! to this dress

When I was looking for my wedding dress, I wanted something sleek and sexy and slinky. I wanted my soon-to-be-husband to see me and his eyes pop out of his head!

Then I went looking and reality set in: my body is not slinky. (I'm sexy, though, don't hate!). I'm short, thick on the bottom and I have stubby legs. The dress I envisioned was not to be.

I eventually settled on a dress that looked great on me even though it was not my "dream" dress. For me, looking good was more important than forcing myself into a dress style that wasn't flattering to me and my body type just because I wanted to wear it.

I got many compliments on my wedding day (though most brides are beautiful so, hmm...) and my little cousin now owns my dress. She raved over it so much, I gave it to her.

Yesterday, YBF posted this photo of Cynthia from the Real Housewives of Atlanta in her wedding gown. All I can say is, WOW! I love this dress. LOVE IT!

I love that she bucked convention with the color. I like the drama of it. It looks luxurious and rich and dramatic. It's gorgeous.

Love it!

Monday, January 24, 2011

This week: When I was a kid

I spent some time with family this weekend and was reminded of funny incidents from my childhood. I thought I'd spend some time sharing them with you this week.

So, tomorrow: SLS, the Hitcher.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Get out of your own way

I have a friend I met in 2005. Back then she was recently divorced and hesitant to date because she was overweight.

Fast forward five years and no pounds lost and this chick still hasn't been on a date though she wants to be in a relationship.

The other night we went out to dinner and I gave some tough love: stop dressing like somebody's mama, keep trying to lose weight but stop using weight as an excuse for hiding from relationships.

She goes on to say if she was so wonderful why has no one SHE WOULD LIKE (note that phrase) approached her in the past five years? I pointed out that she HAD BEEN APPROACHED.

I also noted that since she's been walking around looking like somebody's frazzled frumpy mama who didn't care about themselves and how they looked rather than a young, vibrant single woman open to love and life, she can't be mad about not attracting the kinds of guys she would like to date.

Today I sent her some suggestions for styles of clothes that might make her look and feel a little more young and attractive.

She said that was not her style. She then sent me this as someething she was dying to have:

What in the drab, too damn little and tight ass hell?!

OK, maybe what I sent was too colorful. I searched some more and said, DO THIS WHOLE OUTFIT.

She then told me all the many ways that outfit wouldn't work. The belt across her fat, the shoes too high. I responded Spanx, shoe inserts. I said YOU ARE PRETTY. BE PRETTY. Stop hiding in shapeless, black and navy blue clothes that make you look like a round ball.

Anyway, she changed the subject and I let it go. But I will say that I am not listening to any more conversations about no one asking her out and how ugly and fat she is. Nope.

Cause I ain't the slimmest trimmest lady out there, but I stay cute with mine, hell.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

What in the hell....

This little girl is both funny and a hot mess at the same time.


Today is my good friend Honeysmoke's birthday and I post this in honor of her fabulousness!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Basketball Wives -- SLS TAKE

So Stylin' & Profilin' asked me to catch her up on what happened on Sunday's episode of "Basketball Wives." The following is our IM exchange.

Stylin & Profilin (1:16:38 PM): ok, so i missed bball wives on sunday night... went watching show clips online but wasn't the same... WHAT HAD HAPPENED?!?!?!?

(1:16:56 PM): First, Royce is gangsta
(1:17:03 PM): Suzie is a punk bish

Stylin & Profilin (1:17:20 PM): yes suzie is
(1:17:36 PM): letting another woman scare her from going out *smh*

SingLikeSassy (1:17:49 PM): OK. They all got together at the beginning at a pool party Royce put together and her beau asked Evelyn and Jenn to model in this charity show he and Royce were putting together
(1:18:04 PM): Tami showed up and was apologizing to folks
(1:18:16 PM): Royce was like Jenn is right here you don't have to pretend you don't see her
(1:18:23 PM): Tami said, I'm not pretending, I'm ignoring
(1:18:55 PM): and then Tami said, well, I thought you called me a bitch and Jenn said she didn't and everyone else said she didn't
(1:19:03 PM): so Tami said, OK, maybe it was the alcohol
(1:19:12 PM): then jenn and her husband go to the counselor and he basically said he's done
(1:19:29 PM): jenn said she shut down when 6 weeks before the wedding he flew another woman to some city he was in

Stylin & Profilin (1:19:38 PM): tami is stone fool! LMAO

SingLikeSassy (1:19:41 PM): and he said, they never had a chance because she had questions even on the altar

Stylin & Profilin (1:20:16 PM): jenn is simple

SingLikeSassy (1:20:31 PM): and at first he was talking like she should be over it

Stylin & Profilin (1:20:38 PM): why even go through with it if it was drama like that before the wedding

Stylin & Profilin (1:21:13 PM): eric doesn't care... he talks to her all kinds of crazy like the reason she is the way she is ISN'T b/c of him *smh*

SingLikeSassy (1:21:15 PM): BUT he did say that he hurt her and he was sorry for hurting her and that if there was way they could work through it, they could work through it but he doesn't see a way so, he's done
(1:21:27 PM): he said after she shut down he sought out company elsewhere
(1:21:33 PM): he was like 10 years of memories down the drain
(1:22:08 PM): so evelyn and jen show up for the fitting and the clothes are REALLLLLLLLLLLL ugly
(1:22:22 PM): I mean real mama tina-ish with some derek j thrown on it ugly

Stylin & Profilin (1:22:37 PM): ohhh noooo

SingLikeSassy (1:22:40 PM): royce and her beau are having some kinda dust up but it wasn't clear to me what they were arguing about
(1:22:48 PM): jenn and evelyn are like, we can't wear this bull**it
(1:22:50 PM): sorry no
(1:23:01 PM): royce says we have some other designers don't let this discourage you
(1:23:03 PM): they say OK
(1:23:24 PM): then they try to offer advice to royce and her beau O__o
(1:23:35 PM): let me seee
(1:23:59 PM): jen and eric go to put some stuff in storage and he's basically like when we get divorced, i'm done. aint no friendship none of that
(1:24:07 PM): and she's like why can't we be friends we were friends before we got married?
(1:24:34 PM): and he's like, i don't like the people you hang around and i'm moving forward and leaving all this ish behind
(1:25:17 PM): side note: i understand a little bit how jen feels. she might not love eric any more but still, divorce aint easy.
(1:26:02 PM): however, i want her to stop whining and begging that dude. i think she wants him to love her again. like maybe they had a different relationship before where he was all into her and she wasn't into him and now things have changed
(1:26:12 PM): that's how it seems to me.
(1:26:38 PM): anyway, so royce is rehearsing her dance and her beau comes and tries to give pointers and royce is like, lookahere, this is MY ISH
(1:26:41 PM): stay in your lane
(1:26:44 PM): LOL!!
(1:27:18 PM): tami goes and gets lipo
(1:27:26 PM): she's by herself in the hotel and she's crying cause she's in pain
(1:27:39 PM): Jenn comes and brings her flowers and a card. the card has food stamps in it. LOL!
(1:27:43 PM): so they kinda patch up
(1:28:09 PM): then evelyn decides she aint doing the fashion show and jenn hops on board that train
(1:28:20 PM): they call royce and royce is like, y'all about some bull-ish
(1:28:24 PM): suzie doesn't show either
(1:28:30 PM): so royce is done
(1:28:39 PM): her beau is like, don't worry about it, our stuff will be tight without them
(1:28:42 PM): they hug and say I love you
(1:29:04 PM): royce invites jenn and evelyn for drinks and says, how ya'll bishes not show up? that was foul

Stylin & Profilin (1:29:13 PM): now why did tami get lipo, again?
(1:29:18 PM): she thinks she's fat?

SingLikeSassy (1:29:22 PM): they say they didn't want to wear the clothes and royce is like, ok, fine, you couldn't come support?
(1:29:31 PM): yes, tami wanted things tighter
(1:29:46 PM): evelyn says, i didn't want to come that's it
(1:30:00 PM): so royce is like, y'all can kiss my teeny tiny dancer azz
(1:30:08 PM): and then I think the show was over.

Stylin & Profilin (1:30:12 PM): i want somebody to whoop evelyn's a$*
(1:30:14 PM): like really

SingLikeSassy (1:30:19 PM): ME TOO!

Stylin & Profilin (1:30:26 PM): she thinks she's a lot cuter than what she really is

SingLikeSassy (1:30:28 PM): like last week when she was all, they didn't invite me to the party??!
(1:30:31 PM): no bitch, you aint invited!

Stylin & Profilin (1:30:35 PM): LMAO

SingLikeSassy (1:30:40 PM): with that big overbite


Stay tuned for tomorrow when I review "The Game."


Mr. SLS and I adopted Janet back in July 2008.

We vowed to love and cherish her and take care of her for the rest of her life.

When Mr. SLS first moved out he was all on my nerves about taking care of Janet. I mean on my last.good.nerve. "Did you water Janet?" "Are you turning Janet so she can get sufficient sun?" "I see Janet has some new growth, you might want to spray her a little."

For Christmas Mr. SLS gave me an iPad. I gave him a rosemary plant, a movie he wanted, some gourmet hot chocolate and a scarf. (I gave him stuff I wouldn't be mad about when I thought about it later). He left the rosemary plant at our house because where he's living now isn't conducive to any plant life beyond mary-juwanna. I've done the best I can with the little rosemary plant, but my main focus is Janet. She's my baby.

The other day we went to a movie and when he brought me home I mentioned that he should check on his plant.

His eyes got all wide. "What's wrong with Janet?!" My head cocked to the left, I responded, "Nothing is wrong with Janet. I said YOUR plant. Janet is mine."

He was silent for a minute then said, "For now."

I do believe that the residual inhalation at his current residence is affecting his brain!



Thursday, January 13, 2011

Eating Well and Mental Health

Ever notice that when you're eating well, you feel better emotionally?

I was reading back over my posts and thinking about other things happening during that time and I realized how much junk I was consuming. I don't think I even went in the kitchen for a bit there other than to get some silverware or to put something in/get something out of the refrigerator

At the same time, I was an emotional wreck.

But I started off the year determined to care more about myself and get back on track healthwise, so I've been cooking, planning meals, taking lunch and getting in the fruit and water I need to function well.

And I feel like a new woman. It's been 13 days. Anyway, take that into consideration if you're feeling low.

Let's all be happier and healthier!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

I've been meaning to throw this out for conversation!

Y'all know I'm getting old and I can't remember stuff like I did back in the day!
Men do what they want to do; women do what has to be done.
A few years ago a colleague of mine made that comment in reference to her husband that I thought was interesting. I wasn't married, or even close to married at the time so I had no experience to measure it against.

Now after being married I don't think it applied to MY marriage as I felt we had a good balance for the most part (though the house is sooooooooooooooo much cleaner now that he and all his sheet music and various intruments and upstairs and downstairs recording stuff aren't all over the place).

But, what are your thoughts about that statement?

Monday, January 10, 2011

The Blunt Card

I stumbled upon these today at bluntcard.com and I had to share. Enjoy!

It's a scary world we live in sometimes...

After this weekend's tragedy I hope that we all stop for at least a few minutes today to think about those people who were injured and lost their lives and their families in Tucson's shooting.

There will be a lot of who said and did what and who didn't do and should have said what over the next weeks and months, but please don't ever forget that people lost their lives and family members on Saturday.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Odds and Ends

My best guy friend was in town for the day for work and we went out for drinks last night. It was nice and like old times, cause we don't usually get together these days without his wife and/or kids (who are all adorable). He likes to flirt with my mom and aunt who always wondered why we didn't hook up and my mom called while we were there so they joked around for a few mins. Good times. :O)

My dad's brother called me yesterday to confide in me about something, which was a bit shocking because this is probably the fifth time he has called me. Ever. But, he didn't want to tell my dad (and since he asked me not to tell him I won't) and I think he was working up to asking me for some help. But he never got there. I did my best to try and make him feel better because stuff happens and sometimes you have to make hard decisions. No need to beat himself up about it.

I talked to Mr. SLS for a good while last night and we laughed like we used to before all the mess and I could tell he didn't want to get off the phone when the call ended. There was a time when that would have made me hope we might work things out only to be disappointed later. But it did help me sleep soundly last night.

And, life is good!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Whatcha know good?

You know, I kinda like living alone again. It took me a minute to get adjusted to not having someone else in the house and the quiet that comes with it (especially since music played in our house all the time), but I do like having everything just the way I want it. And I like putting stuff down and coming back and it's still there.

I know where all my socks and clothes are because someone hasn't moved them to some place. I can reach all the dishes because they are on the shelves I can reach.

I don't have to buy whole milk. Or M&Ms with almonds. Or turkey bacon.

Yeah, it's not so bad this living alone thing.

See what I did there? Turned a negative into a positive.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Cheaters and the NBA. Hmmmm...

I watched this interview a couple weeks ago with Shaunie O'Neal where she discusses NBA players and cheating:

In the interview she says the ONLY basketball player she thinks is faithful is Grant Hill. I like Grant Hill. He's very polished, seems cultured and has spent a good deal of the past few years buying African-American art. He's acquired so many Romare Bearden pieces -- my favorite artist!! -- he loaned them out for a traveling exhibition. (I saw it, it was great!)

But Shaunie's comment made me wonder why Grant chooses to be faithful (and it *is* a choice, folks need to stop acting like ish just happens and is outside their control) and other players won't/don't?

I wonder if it's because Grant came from a more affluent background than many of the NBA's players, so money, big houses and fancy cars and all that weren't new to him.

His Ivy League-educated and well-connected parents -- dad is a former NFL star who attended Yale with George W. Bush and mom shared a suite at Wellesley College with Hillary Clinton -- are still married. He may have seen a healthy marriage with its ups and downs and his parents might have taught him about marriage, faithfulness and respect for women and himself.

I also wonder if it's because Grant married someone (singer Tamia) who was in the public eye as well, so maybe he views her as his equal and not just some chickenhead hanger-on.

What do you guys think?

Monday, January 3, 2011

I am over ME

Yeah, I said it. I am over me.

Here's why: I've been letting this marriage break up/no baby thing consume me.

For example, I had an invite for Friday. I was looking forward to it and got up and started getting ready. Then I got a call from Mr. SLS updating me on the status of the eviction process for my tenants (basically these non-rent paying mofos are in there and I have next-to-no rights as a landlord in D.C. and the process moves like molasses in the wintertime. As a result, he's been handling it cause...iCan't. Just thinking about it makes my pressure go up. Seriously).

What he told me made me cry. Then once I started crying I was just done. For the day. I cried off and on all day. About the tenants. About my marriage. About the tenants, again. Then my marriage for a couple more hours. Then the fact that my due date was 1/1/11. Then the marriage again.

This built up until at 11:30 p.m. I was crying so hard I couldn't see. O__o And that's about the time Mr. SLS sent me a text wishing me a happy new year. Lawd why he go and do that??!!

I finally went to sleep, but woke up the next day still upset and called him, cause dammit, I wasn't going to be worked up by my damn self! I started in all teary talking about this and that and then somewhere in the middle of all that I just...stopped.

What the hell difference did any of that crying and all these dramatics make? Nothing. I'm still getting divorced. Shit Mr. SLS did can't be undone. The baby ain't here.

So, I got off the phone.

It's sad and hard to accept, but I gotta accept it: I loved and lost.

I may never be a biological mom. Again, sad and hard to accept, but I gotta accept that, too.

All those people I thanked in the last post, they have been supporting me in one way or another and I owe it to them NOT to squander those prayers and well wishes by wallowing in this shit. It is what it is. All I can do now is control those things I can control, something my daddy tells me all.the.time.

So moving forward, I'm making a concerted and focused effort to "fake it til I make it." I am not that beatdown kinda chick. Never have been and not going to be one now.

If I start feeling low, well I'll find something else to think about or do, like working out and getting this extra weight off.

I am over me. Here's hoping I get this shit together before y'all are over me, too.

Christina sums up where I am for the twenty-leven: