"There are notes between notes, you know." -- Sarah Vaughan

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Get out of your own way

I have a friend I met in 2005. Back then she was recently divorced and hesitant to date because she was overweight.

Fast forward five years and no pounds lost and this chick still hasn't been on a date though she wants to be in a relationship.

The other night we went out to dinner and I gave some tough love: stop dressing like somebody's mama, keep trying to lose weight but stop using weight as an excuse for hiding from relationships.

She goes on to say if she was so wonderful why has no one SHE WOULD LIKE (note that phrase) approached her in the past five years? I pointed out that she HAD BEEN APPROACHED.

I also noted that since she's been walking around looking like somebody's frazzled frumpy mama who didn't care about themselves and how they looked rather than a young, vibrant single woman open to love and life, she can't be mad about not attracting the kinds of guys she would like to date.

Today I sent her some suggestions for styles of clothes that might make her look and feel a little more young and attractive.



She said that was not her style. She then sent me this as someething she was dying to have:



What in the drab, too damn little and tight ass hell?!

OK, maybe what I sent was too colorful. I searched some more and said, DO THIS WHOLE OUTFIT.



She then told me all the many ways that outfit wouldn't work. The belt across her fat, the shoes too high. I responded Spanx, shoe inserts. I said YOU ARE PRETTY. BE PRETTY. Stop hiding in shapeless, black and navy blue clothes that make you look like a round ball.

Anyway, she changed the subject and I let it go. But I will say that I am not listening to any more conversations about no one asking her out and how ugly and fat she is. Nope.

Cause I ain't the slimmest trimmest lady out there, but I stay cute with mine, hell.

7 comments:

  1. I DIE for that dress. I am ordering it. Your friend is tripping. I'm the fat one and I'm married..all my other friends are smaller than me and single. I wasn't attractive to some men but I was attractive to ONE man. He liked me and I liked him back. All it takes is ONE.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous1/20/2011

    i'm laughing because i like her pick. i used to be her but somehow found a man. now i'm much older, still married, and trying to get my sexy for the first time. it is so hard. but. i. will. not. give. up.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Probably the funniest blog I have read in a long time. I just had this exact encounter, but did not have the guts to do what you did with your friend. She's lucky to have someone to give her a reality check rather than pat her on the head and say "there, there prince charming will come." Good for you.

    Also I have no idea how I found your blog but I read it all the time.

    Keep it up :)

    -randomlycommentingbecauseicouldntresist

    ReplyDelete
  4. Loves it. Tell her ass to watch What Not to Wear, too. Oh, and where is that dress from? I am sort of in love with dresses right now!

    http://www.thirteenlbs.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. Loves it. Tell her ass to watch What Not to Wear, too. Oh, and where is that dress from? I am sort of in love with dresses right now!

    http://www.thirteenlbs.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. I DIE for that dress. I am ordering it. Your friend is tripping. I'm the fat one and I'm married..all my other friends are smaller than me and single. I wasn't attractive to some men but I was attractive to ONE man. He liked me and I liked him back. All it takes is ONE.

    ReplyDelete

Use your inside voice ... or I'll put you outside. -- SingLikeSassy