"There are notes between notes, you know." -- Sarah Vaughan

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

F you and f that, too!


On Valentine's Day I ended up working late because of some last minute scheduling shifts due to people being out sick and a project that needed to get done.

Not a problem, as I didn't have any plans or anything.

I get home and I'm dog tired, real damn irritated from work ish and admittedly feeling a little down about love and all that. When I open the door, I see an orchid and a card waiting for me from Mr. SLS.

I wasn't expecting anything at all so I will say I was pleasantly surprised. Til I read the card, which said some shit about how he was blessed that I was still his friend despite all that had happened blahblah.

It took all I had not to knock that gotdayum flower on the floor and step on the crushed up pieces of it then rip the card up and sprinkle it on the top. He took what would have been a nice gesture -- and trust me, when I first saw it, all I thought was, "what a nice ending to a jacked up day," no part of me thought this was some ploy to make up or get back together -- and made it something else.

But for real, our shit hasn't been scorched earth because I haven't let it be. See, my husband is a cheater and a liar. Pick which one you think is worse.

So that little bullshit card, while I'm sure he meant something with it, just made me want to rage out up in there and bust all his shit up and throw it in the street.

Why? Cause gotdaymit you promised to LOVE, HONOR AND RESPECT ME. UNTIL DEATH DO US PART. YOU VOWED THAT TO ME IN FRONT OF OUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY. AND NOW IT'S ALL FUCKED UP AND BECAUSE I'M TOO EMOTIONALLY TIRED TO BE/STAY MAD YOU WANNA GIVE ME THIS LITTLE FLOWER LIKE SHIT IS ALL GOOD??! LIKE ALL IS FORGIVEN AND WE'RE GOING TO GRIP EACH OTHER UP LIKE BOYS???!!! KISS MY BIG ROUND BROWN ASS MUTHAFUCKA.

WHOO SAIIIII, WHOOO SAIIIII <--this is me trying not to get mad about this shit all over again.

I threw the card away and the plant is on my dresser. I don't want it. Maybe I'll take it work and give it to a coworker. Or throw it in that messy ass room of his. Please pray that I will be back in my own house soon. I'm ready for this failed marriage and all its baggage to be behind me.

7 comments:

  1. Seriously, I'm really feeling you, albeit on a much smaller scale as where I'm coming from was a dating relationship... not marriage.

    Folks slay me thinking bc you didn't cuss 'em up one wall and down another (or bc you haven't done it lately) that you're not feeling some type of way that might require a lil bit of "thinking before speaking"...

    I'm sorry he capped off an already less than awesome day with the bullshiggity.

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  2. :-( You should put it on the shelf of god-forsaken books and things on the top floor by the cafeteria. Or better yet, the bathroom up there.

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  3. He probably felt really good about that gesture. Wonder if he would get how maddening it is? Orchids need love too though, so pass it on to another caretaker.

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  4. Anonymous2/17/2011

    i agree wit A. Smith. umm, and he needs to be quiet for a little while.

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  5. My basement's free..plenty of room, got a full bath and cable !

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  6. So sorry. I have been in your shoes! {hugs}

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  7. Seriously, I'm really feeling you, albeit on a much smaller scale as where I'm coming from was a dating relationship... not marriage.

    Folks slay me thinking bc you didn't cuss 'em up one wall and down another (or bc you haven't done it lately) that you're not feeling some type of way that might require a lil bit of "thinking before speaking"...

    I'm sorry he capped off an already less than awesome day with the bullshiggity.

    ReplyDelete

Use your inside voice ... or I'll put you outside. -- SingLikeSassy