"There are notes between notes, you know." -- Sarah Vaughan

Monday, June 6, 2011

Free Your Mind ... and Your Ass Will Follow. -- Funkadelic

Over on Black n' Bougie there's a discussion going on about infidelity. You can go over there and check it out, but I'm going to riff on a tangent here today.

Someone asked me recently how I could be friends/friendly with Mr. SLS. Part of why I didn't go scorched earth is because we have two embryos left and I'm not sure what I want to do with them. To me, if there is a chance we might parent together, we need to not be at each other's throats.

But, as the months have passed I have to say, it's been easier to be friendly with him than I would have thought at this time last year. I don't feel anything for him anymore. He kissed me recently and there was...nothing. Not.a.thing. I can remember a time when he could kiss me and I would be dizzy.

So, for me, the place between love and hate is...friendship, I guess. We have a history together that, before last year, was filled with laughter. I can't disregard that part because last year was shit-tastic. We still have a few financial connections and he still does stuff for me.

And finally, I married this man. I picked him and decided I wanted to spend my life with him. I tried to have children with him. We confided in each other. We dreamed together.


  1. Great answer and it makes perfect sense. Being amicable is way better than being angry. If you can achieve it, go for it!

  2. Whatever works for you! I've always remained friends with my ex's.

    My ex hubby and I remained friends and even tried counseling after his very public cheating episode. But when I really thought about it, he didn't respect me at a very basic level so I cut off that friendship and haven't looked back since.

  3. For a long time, I was still friends with the ex-fi who cheated (flagrantly) on me. We've known each other for over 20 years and have a ton of friends in common. BUT he wouldn't color inside the lines and I had to let it go.


Use your inside voice ... or I'll put you outside. -- SingLikeSassy