"There are notes between notes, you know." -- Sarah Vaughan

Monday, June 6, 2011

Free Your Mind ... and Your Ass Will Follow. -- Funkadelic


Over on Black n' Bougie there's a discussion going on about infidelity. You can go over there and check it out, but I'm going to riff on a tangent here today.

Someone asked me recently how I could be friends/friendly with Mr. SLS. Part of why I didn't go scorched earth is because we have two embryos left and I'm not sure what I want to do with them. To me, if there is a chance we might parent together, we need to not be at each other's throats.

But, as the months have passed I have to say, it's been easier to be friendly with him than I would have thought at this time last year. I don't feel anything for him anymore. He kissed me recently and there was...nothing. Not.a.thing. I can remember a time when he could kiss me and I would be dizzy.

So, for me, the place between love and hate is...friendship, I guess. We have a history together that, before last year, was filled with laughter. I can't disregard that part because last year was shit-tastic. We still have a few financial connections and he still does stuff for me.

And finally, I married this man. I picked him and decided I wanted to spend my life with him. I tried to have children with him. We confided in each other. We dreamed together.

3 comments:

  1. Great answer and it makes perfect sense. Being amicable is way better than being angry. If you can achieve it, go for it!

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  2. Whatever works for you! I've always remained friends with my ex's.

    My ex hubby and I remained friends and even tried counseling after his very public cheating episode. But when I really thought about it, he didn't respect me at a very basic level so I cut off that friendship and haven't looked back since.

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  3. For a long time, I was still friends with the ex-fi who cheated (flagrantly) on me. We've known each other for over 20 years and have a ton of friends in common. BUT he wouldn't color inside the lines and I had to let it go.

    ReplyDelete

Use your inside voice ... or I'll put you outside. -- SingLikeSassy