Monday, June 6, 2011
Free Your Mind ... and Your Ass Will Follow. -- Funkadelic
Over on Black n' Bougie there's a discussion going on about infidelity. You can go over there and check it out, but I'm going to riff on a tangent here today.
Someone asked me recently how I could be friends/friendly with Mr. SLS. Part of why I didn't go scorched earth is because we have two embryos left and I'm not sure what I want to do with them. To me, if there is a chance we might parent together, we need to not be at each other's throats.
But, as the months have passed I have to say, it's been easier to be friendly with him than I would have thought at this time last year. I don't feel anything for him anymore. He kissed me recently and there was...nothing. Not.a.thing. I can remember a time when he could kiss me and I would be dizzy.
So, for me, the place between love and hate is...friendship, I guess. We have a history together that, before last year, was filled with laughter. I can't disregard that part because last year was shit-tastic. We still have a few financial connections and he still does stuff for me.
And finally, I married this man. I picked him and decided I wanted to spend my life with him. I tried to have children with him. We confided in each other. We dreamed together.