I know I often post here about being sad or hurt or whatever, but some of that is how I work through stuff. I am not always able to talk things out with people. I once had a friend tell me I was her "good news" girlfriend. That by the time she knew there was a problem or anything wrong, I had solved or dealt with it and was back on track. I have a hard time letting people help or support me emotionally. My default when it gets real bad is to shut down and burrow in.
One of the best things about being married IMO, was having someone to lean on. Mr. SLS was the first person I knew I could talk to about anything. Losing that has been just one more thing I have to adjust to and, I'll admit that part of the Sunday tears was because I just couldn't talk to him about some of what was bothering me -- the loss of a friendship that, for reasons I still don't understand, hit me hard and the effort I put out to help someone last weekend, only to get shitted on. All I could do was cry.
So I write it all down here and even as much as I post, I still don't share everything that's bothering me.
But believe me, this has been a great summer. For that matter, it's been a great year, better than I could have imagined this time last year when everything seemed so bleak. I made some new friends, reconnected with old ones and learned a few new things about myself.
And know that I laugh at least as much as I cry.