Back before I met Mr. SLS I was dating two young men. Both of these gentleman were dating purposefully and were dating me with hopes of it growing to marriage. I was honest with them that I was dating other people, but I, too, was dating with an eye toward marriage.
I had some great dates with these guys. One took me to Philly to go antique shopping and when we got to one really quirky/artsy shop owned by a friend of his that had a piano in it, he had arranged for a piano player to be there to play some songs so I could sing. (That's when I was working hardcore with a vocal coach and hoping to be a jazz singer. You know, like Sarah "Sassy" Vaughan)
The other guy and I took his nephew to the Spy Museum and had the best time acting like kids and spies. He also took me ice skating.
I was enjoying both of them and the attention and appreciated that they were both respectful of me and didn't push or pressure me for physical stuff.
Then I met Mr. SLS. And that was pretty much it for me. I was off the market.
I knew fading to the black was not fair in regard to the other men who, while not madly in love with me, had invested some time and energy in courting me. I was a grown woman and I needed to be honest and forthright with them as well as respectful of their feelings.
It was hard but, I told them that I had met someone that I thought was really special and I needed to let that situation play out. Both guys thanked me for my honesty and wished me luck. I am friendly with both of them still.
Sometimes it's hard to disappoint people, to deal with the potential blowback of hurt feelings. But I think you get back what you put out there.
So my advice to all of you considering the fade out is this: Man (or woman) up, excuse yourself nicely, then get the hell on.
Thanks and bye.