"There are notes between notes, you know." -- Sarah Vaughan

Sunday, August 28, 2011

The Good, the Bad and the Rest of Us

I got an email a little bit ago from a friend of Mr. SLS' asking how I was doing and when we were going to get together and hang out. This young lady is a longtime friend of his and another musician. She performed at our wedding.

The Friday before Memorial Day last year, she came by to meet him because they were going to do some busking at the Metro. This was the day after everything went bizarro -- I was bleeding out our baby and his cheating was revealed -- and I tried to crush his skull with the telephone then threw half of his stuff down the stairs and called his hoes and said come get this MFer so ALL Y'ALL CAN LAY IN A POOL OF FILTH TOGETHER.

Needless to say he gathered his instruments and left the house for the night. He was smart cause I was raging out up in there and had considered throwing those in the street and running my car over them.

And though I know he would have never laid hands on me, if I had done something to his instruments -- which collectively are worth about $50K -- as Chris Rock says, he might have shaken the shit out of me. LOL!

The next day when she knocked on the door -- he had forgotten she was coming -- he had come back home just minutes earlier and we were silently looking at each other, me on the stairs peeking through the rails and him down below, the events of the night before still raw between us.

Since his friend had driven down from Baltimore he felt like he should give her gas money, but realized he didn't have cash. He ran out to the ATM and she and I sat there together. I tried to make small talk, but then she asked me for some relationship advice because she said we were one of the most loving couples she knew and I burst into tears -- the loud, snotty, can't catch your breath or talk coherently kinda tears. (side note: DAMN I cry a lot. I'm crying as I type this post. UGH!)

She jumped up and hugged me and I was finally able to say that everything was all messed up and wrong and he didn't want me anymore and she grabbed my purse and pushed me into her car. When Mr. SLS' car swung around the corner a few minutes later she yelled out the window that we were going to have some girl time and would be back then she drove me to a park and let me cry and wail until my throat and head hurt.

After that she checked on me everyday last summer. Her loyalties shifted from him to me. She even went to his best friend -- another musician -- and told him what happened and urged him to talk to Mr. SLS (who, at this time, hadn't mentioned anything to his friend about our situation, so it was a bit of a shock). From her perspective, she had witnessed our union and as such, she was supposed to do everything she could to help it stay intact.

Anyway, we all know that I moved back home and when she emailed me earlier she said Mr. SLS had reached out to her about getting together to do some playing and she wasn't feeling it cause she couldn't get past what he had done to our marriage.

I told her that she needed to separate the two because she was his friend long before there was a me. And that the nice guy she knew would continue to be that person for her. Our failed marriage didn't prevent him from playing and practicing with her.

Finally, I said nobody is all bad or all good.

I know I could hate Mr. SLS, but I don't. I can't make him out to be a demon because he isn't. I am not perfect either.

Nobody is all bad or all good.

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Use your inside voice ... or I'll put you outside. -- SingLikeSassy