"There are notes between notes, you know." -- Sarah Vaughan

Monday, August 22, 2011

You Can't Go Back. No, Really, Don't Do It

A friend and I were talking recently about about her breakup with a guy she has been in love with for at least 20 years.

No, no, no, they didn't date for that long, that's just how long she has had feelings for him. It's sort of a Carrie and Big situation actually. They were hot and heavy back in the day and then broke up when he told her he wasn't ready to go deeper. Then the next thing you know he is married to this other chick and miserable. My friend stayed away, of course, but she always wondered why he wasn't ready for her but was ready for the other chick.

Fast forward to last year and dude and wifey are divorcing. He finds out through mutual friends that my friend is in the area (they dated long distance) and looks her up. He explains how he chose poorly (the other chick was hot and he was led by his loins. Sigh. I need for grown azz men to do better than this right here cause all these people are 10 years older than me). She keeps him at arm's length for a bit, but finally gives in. After several months of hot and heavy she realizes she *still* isn't getting what she needs from this man.

So she asks for it.

He tries but he's still bitter about choosing poorly when he got married so now he's gunshy. He says.

My friend walks. It was hard and she is crushed.

I think the movies have convinced us that the Bigs will wake up one day and realize that the Carries are the loves of their lives and then move heaven and earth to be with her.

*GiggleSnort* That's some BS.

I think my friend needed to have this second experience with this guy to shake the "what ifs," but in general I am anti-second chances.

How about y'all?


  1. You can't go forward looking behind you. That's all I have.

  2. Like this picture, your friend needs to exit pronto. I know it is easier said and done  but this guy is not  the one.  There is something better on the other side.

  3. I think the key part of the mistake may be expecting heaven and earth to move.  It's one thing to know you let a good thing go, it's another to be willing to do what it takes to have it back.  The majority of folks who let a good thing get away the first time aren't going to have the good sense to do what it takes to get it back.

    Damn you Sex And The City...

  4. agree, agree, agree. it almost never seems to work to try try again. too much baggage and not enough trust.

  5. CaliGirlED8/22/2011

    I used to be, The Woman of  A Thousand Chances, Make Up to Break Up. No more! Let's get this shit right, now, or forever hold our peace. As my aunts would say, "Shit or get off the pot"!


Use your inside voice ... or I'll put you outside. -- SingLikeSassy