As I was riding home from work the other day and thinking about how I couldn't wait to get home and chill out, it occurred to me how much easier it is, sometimes, to be single.
Don't get me wrong, love is love and I love it, but there is something to be said for not being responsible for someone else. Not always having to consider someone else when making even simple decisions, such as what to have for dinner, whether to stay in on a Friday night, what to watch on TV etc.
And I say this as someone who had an easygoing spouse. If I was happy, Mr. SLS was happy. He could eat a bowl of cereal every night for dinner with no problem.
But there's this freedom in coming in and dropping my bag at the front door, making a PBJ, falling down on my sofa to watch trash TV and not feeling like I need to clean the house or be all cute or be focused on another person and their needs.
For as long as I am single -- and as I've said before, I am not rushing to get into a relationship anytime soon -- I will enjoy this peace. In fact, I'll use it to figure out when I'm ready to date seriously again. When I get tired of being solo and feel like I'm ready to nest again, that's when I'll put myself out there.
This is such a different headspace than I was in at this time last year. I remember going to an annual party that we always attended together (which is coming up soon, actually) with a girlfriend last year and practically being in tears about being there without him, not knowing how to answer the hostess when she asked where he was and stuff. Even though we were done then, I was still grieving and not ready to accept that all my plans, hopes and dreams for the future were kaput.
But in the end, life is what you make it. I'm going to make the most of mine!