"There are notes between notes, you know." -- Sarah Vaughan

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Friendly Advice

In the past few months when my married friends have called me for advice, I felt odd giving it. My marriage failed. I felt like, what the hell do I know, I couldn't fix my own ish. And I took to adding that as a disclaimer.

Today, my best guy friend called me for some advice. I thought he mostly needed to talk to someone so I listened and let him get it all out and in the air. Often when people hear themselves, they can fix their own ish.

But turns out he did want me to offer some ideas for how to solve the problem, and as I started with my "remember my marriage failed" disclaimer, he cut me off and told me to stop doing that. To stop disparaging my experience.

The thing is, nothing makes me suck my teeth and side-eye quicker than Steve Harvey somebody with a string of failed relationships trying to give marital advice. I know the idea is that, here are the lessons I learned in the failures, but still, I wanna hear from folks who weathered the storm and stayed together. Anybody can quit.

In any case, I told him to seek out counseling NOW before this medium but potentially serious problem becomes a great big one, and then I remembered that I give out advice on the Web all.the.time. LOL! And, there is value in the lessons learned from the failure of my marriage.

So, from now on feel free to ask me for advice!

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Use your inside voice ... or I'll put you outside. -- SingLikeSassy