Over on my friend Lottie's blog she's asking whether women support their men enough, given all the things we ask them to do for us. You can check it out here: 30 Something: Loving Him (Part 1)
Rather than blog in her comments, I'm going to put my response here:
When I met Mr. SLS he was going to grad school part-time and it was going to take him 1005000000 years to finish his masters degree. He had inherited some money when his mom passed away the year before that she had told him to use for something other than bills. He spent some of it taking me to Europe and to Savannah (I love Savannah!), Ga.
I encouraged him to go part-time with the school district so he could go to grad school full-time (he could finish in one year that way) and to take that money his mom left him and use it to supplement his income in the interim. Then I helped him with his papers -- proofing, editing etc. -- and went to all his recitals, including one where he was in so much pain (he had surgery sked the next day) he could barely stand and he had to lean on me to get to the car afterward.
I made him business cards to give out when he was at gigs so people could get in touch with him. I helped him make cds to share with people who wanted a sample of his music, I went to his gigs -- sometimes late into the night when I had to work the next day -- I promoted his performances among my circle of friends.
The only reason y'all know bad stuff about Mr. SLS now is because he cheated and we are divorcing. Before then, he was the best man/husband/musician EVAH. I had no problem supporting my man in achieving his dream(s) and holding him down in public and behind closed doors. I didn't do it out of obligation, I did it because I loved him and we were a family, and when he succeeded WE succeeded.
I will say, though, after all the effort and love I put into this marriage only for it to fail, I am not sure how much I am willing to do for someone else at this point. That's obviously something I will have to work through before I embark on another relationship.
And lest that all sound depressing, TiffanyInHouston wrote today about what she's learned during her first year of marriage. It made me tear up, but y'all know I'm waterworks anyway so....Happy Anniversary TMack and M2!