It turns out that you when you rarely drink caffeine and then you get on a half and half (half sweet tea, half lemonade) kick and drink Honest Tea all the time instead of water or even the sparkling water that you normally drink you can get very very very very very dehydrated with dry heaves and retching and stuff.
And when that happens you have terrible dizziness and vertigo and it's scary so you call work to let them know you can't come but you've scared yourself so bad that you're crying on the phone so your boss insists you call 911 which you do after calling your soon to be ex-husband who also says call 911 and that he will meet you at the hospital. By now you're in a full on cry and panic and when the firemen arrive (dunno why they come first) and you stumble down to the door with everything looking like an LSD trip they check your vitals (which surprisingly and thankfully were good!) and then you proceed to vomit up clear fluids until the ambulance gets there, and then you retch and heave when going out into the ambulance scaring your elderly neighbors who have looked out for you for nine years.
You get to the hospital and they initially think you have food poisoning, and give you something for nausea (thank you Miss Jean!) and you feel better now so you want to go home and then you sit up and everything is still spinning so the doc comes around and asks you some questions and presses your belly here and there and it's decided that you are dehydrated and the lining of your stomach is inflamed. They take some tests and samples to be sure, hook you to an IV to get fluids into you, your soon to be ex-husband comes and talks to your mother who was already in the car and headed up I-85 and to the doc and gets stuff straight then puts you in the car.
Then you go home. And get in the bed. Water only for me for the unforeseen future.