"There are notes between notes, you know." -- Sarah Vaughan

Saturday, October 22, 2011

I Have Relaxed, Related and Released *cleansing breath*

I was still ticked off when I wrote that last post. Wanted to let you know that prayer worked.

It also helped that I remembered the advice my dad always gives me and that I am always giving other people: Control those things you can control. I can always control my reaction to other people's actions. I am in control of me.

I should not have allowed his actions to get me so upset. But he does stuff knowing it's jacked up and then tries to fix it later. No, just don't do fugged up ish!

Still, it's my fault. I keep having expectations of him that I shouldn't have because I have yet to accept that he is not the man I thought he was. Never will be. He stopped trying to live up to my expectations a long time ago.

Just remember what I said people: Choose well. That's the best advice I can give you out of my experience.

4 comments:

  1. Singlelif10/23/2011

    I oftentimes give out the same advice "Dont let other people control your emotions".  Sometimes I dont even take it myself.  #RealLifeHappens

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  2. Mywhateva10/24/2011

    your father is a smart man.

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  3. MsJamie1410/30/2011

    This is hard for me because it seems to me you did chose well. You chose well and it still didn't work. You did what you were supposed to do and you still got hurt.

    So at least tell me there was some red flag that was there that you missed or ignored or something...because  I'd like to think I will chose well...and it can still fall all apart.

    That said, that's why I appreciate you sharing this journey with us. I know it's not easy.

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  4. You know, I think my husband changed his mind about out future somewhere around when we did our second infertility treatment. I was still pushing forward on the dream of a family and he was over it. I think that's where it all fell apart. And, you're right, that's not necessarily something I could have seen ahead of time.

    ALSO, I didn't get enough credence to the fact that his mom had been married four times and his brother had been married three times and how that would affect his view of marriage. Marriage is a serious matter in my family. SERIOUS. But, looking at his family's track record, it's not as important.

    And, in hindsight, I remember something his best friend said that I should have listened to, basically that Mr. XSLS will always take the road most traveled. It's easier to just give up. It's hard to stay and fight and make some ish work.

    So when I say "choose well," I mean, take your time. Don't rush. Give yourself time to see AND understand what stuff like that I mentioned above might mean.

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Use your inside voice ... or I'll put you outside. -- SingLikeSassy