"There are notes between notes, you know." -- Sarah Vaughan

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Holidays, Children and Divorce

As I've noted here before, Mr. SLS and his family have asked me to please continue spending time with his 5-year-old niece and since I love her 5-going-on-35 self to pieces, I do. We have been doing a monthly outing/activity for a while now.

Well, on the last outing (we went to see Puss In Boots, hilarious movie) as I was driving her home, she asked me about taking something to Uncle SLS and I said, well, remember, me and Uncle SLS aren't married any more and I live in my house now so I won't be seeing him. She stopped talking to me and didn't talk to me again. When we got home I told her mom she was upset with me and her mom asked her why and she told her she was mad with me because I said she and Uncle SLS weren't married any more.

Sigh.

So, Thanksgiving comes and ex-sis-in-law invites me to dinner because Niece SLS really wants me there. As I said in my earlier post, I declined.

Apparently (per Mr. XSLS and XSIL in separate conversations) she asked where I was, got upset that I wasn't there, started crying and screamed, "It's not thanksgiving without Auntie SLS!"

Sigh.

When I was talking to her mom about this I said I was sorry and maybe I should scale back spending time with her. I also pointed out that Mr. SLS was seeing someone and may have decided to bring her to dinner, which would have been awkward for everyone and not fair to me or the new lady. So I took my azz on to my friend's where I was welcome and had fun.

XSIL said (in heavily accented English as Hebrew is her first language), "I don't know this new woman, but you are family, divorce or not, so I do not care if she is comfortable. My child loves you."

The sum up to all this is, it seems like it could be messy and there's a 5-year-old involved and I need to exit stage right.

Sigh.

3 comments:

  1. tiffanyinhouston11/28/2011

    Ooooh this is a tough one. I think that you can have a relationship with Lil Mama independent of Mr. XSLS. She wants it and I would hate for you to disappoint her. And her mom is encouraging it, so it is OK. I don't really give a hoot about how your ex feels about it because HE wanted to divorce, not you.

    And while I'm being pissy, I'm rather hot that he's decided to move on and so damn quickly. Can he let the ink dry? GOTDAMN.

    OK, I'm back to being an adult now.

    Bye.

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  2. I know this scenario well.  I think you should just continue to have your special time with her and explain that things are different now.  She will eventually get used to it.

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  3. Mywhateva11/30/2011

    What Cyn and TiffanyinHouston said.

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Use your inside voice ... or I'll put you outside. -- SingLikeSassy