"There are notes between notes, you know." -- Sarah Vaughan

Monday, December 12, 2011

Gift-Giving Trial and Error

@Onechele's post over on Black 'N Bougie today brought back some marriage memories.

My ex comes from a family of "things" people. They like stuff. Preferably expensive stuff with people's names on it. For them, spending a lot of money on something equals love.

I'm not into that. I want experiences. Or thoughtful gifts. For awhile there the mister had a hard time figuring out what to give me as gifts.

For my birthday the first year we were together, he gave me some diamond earrings -- not my style, but I never said a word and I wore them until last year.

Then later that same year he took me to London, Berlin and Savannah. I think that's when he figured out he didn't have to buy me stuff, I wanted to do things, see things, explore things with him. Experiences.

So that first Christmas we were together he took me to see "The Color Purple" on Broadway, then we had dinner and did the whole NYC at Christmas thing. I had never done that before and I still look at the pics and smile.

Don't get me wrong, over the years he gave me stuff, too -- a camera, my iPhone, a Wii, a flat panel TV, an iPod speaker dock -- but we did a lot of fun stuff together.

"Carmen" with Denyce Graves. Events where I met a lot of the great jazz musicians of the day, such as Christian McBride, Dianne Reeves, Herbie Hancock, Terence Blanchard, Chris Botti, David "Fathead" Newman (Bokeem Woodbine played his character in Ray) and more. "Ragtime" after I mentioned in passing that I had read the book. Go-cart racing. Roller coaster rides. Kayaking.

Don't give me the world, SHOW it to me.

I'm actually torn right now because, as I said a few posts ago, seeing "Don Giovanni" at the Metropolitan Opera House is on my bucketlist and it's something that would be great to do with him because we used to watch the movie Amadeus ALL.the.time.

But, that's not divorced. Is it? Sigh.


  1. bashowell12/12/2011

    Reading this makes me realize that's what I'd LIKE but have never received - experiences.  Smh...

  2. BrooklynBabe12/12/2011

    This is a great post. I would take an experience over the piece of jewelry any day.  

  3. I am right here with you on this.  I call it "making memories".  Long after the "things" have been lost, broken, or don't work any more, if you have experiences, you will always have memories. Even if you don't have the photos, the memories will remain in your heart & mind. Great post. 

  4. Great post! I think some people don't get this concept and miss out so much in the memories and experiences departments.


Use your inside voice ... or I'll put you outside. -- SingLikeSassy