But what's surprised me is, I miss my husband. I miss my marriage. I miss all the stuff I was promised in those vows. I miss the family we were sacrificing to have.
I thought I was over all that shit?!! Sigh.
And maybe it's because after I came home from the hospital, I slept in our old bed next to him and we watched TV and ate cookies like old times. Too many memories.
I am very disappointed in my life right now, which is silly because it has been affected by things outside my control.
I look ahead to the future and see....what? I close my eyes and I can see and almost smell my baby.
I don't know.