"There are notes between notes, you know." -- Sarah Vaughan

Monday, May 21, 2012

My "perfect" man...

I somehow stumbled on Single Black Male (possibly via Slim who comments on Black 'n Bougie) and today's post was about dating, the perfect man/woman.

My "requirements" (that sounds so rigid, ugh) have changed over time and will likely continue to evolve as I learn more about myself. Here's what I wrote there about my "perfect" mate and I believe that no matter how old I get, these things will remain firm:
He would be someone who understands commitment and is willing to put in the effort and work it requires. I need someone who can teach me something(s) as I like to admire my man. Someone who is curious about the world and has sought out opportunities to learn about it. Must be funny and personable. Someone who has dated enough to know what he wants, but not so much that he's jaded about women and relationships. Someone who wants and appreciates love and understands the difference between what's good for him and what's good to him. Someone I can trust and have the confidence in to follow his leadership even when I'm not sure of the final destination. A good steward of his finances. Passionate about his career, whatever it is. Looks at me like I'm Halle Berry or whatever hawt starlet he's into. Someone who can write/express himself well. 
Note that none of that references looks, height, cars, salary minimums, clothes, hoes. Cause for me, THAT stuff is fluid (cept the hoes, I just threw that in to see if you were paying attention LOL).
Check out that blog. It seems thoughtful and well written, and I appreciate the conversation those brothers are creating. I shared it with my younger 20-something cousin and told her to read and pay attention.


  1. Mywhateva5/22/2012

    Your standards are too damn high! What you want is a man who will wipe a counter every now and then, one who run out in the cold and get you chocolates just because you want them right now, and one who won't look at you funny when the baby cries for the 15th time in one night. It's the little things that become the big things. Is he trainable? Good! If not, keep it moving. :)

  2. Anonymous5/22/2012

    Yes, train-able, also known as the ability to be trained. There are all kinds of words women use that men don't know anything about. Trainable is one of them.

    1. I know what the word means, just can't help but think it's a little insulting an demeaning to think that the woman I am about to marry (or any other woman) thinks of me as "trainable".


Use your inside voice ... or I'll put you outside. -- SingLikeSassy