"There are notes between notes, you know." -- Sarah Vaughan

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Dust off your [redacted]

I wasn't going to do a second post today, but @tiffanyhhouston, @earthangel and some other folks over on the Twitters are slaying me today talmbout folks who go years and years and years and years and years and years and years without stirring cocoa.

Now, as a two-plus-year member of the celibacy crew right now, I understand that sometimes you have to just step away from all of the physical stuff. I've also never been a casual cocoa stirrer (it would fix SO MANY OF THE THINGS if I could be though, sigh). And, honestly, until recently I wasn't even missing it or bothered by the lack of cocoa.

But, now I am. It's like I went to sleep and woke up and all the men are looking good, damn it. I went from feeling kind of removed from all of that to not being able to focus on anything other than a dude's body parts and how they might feel if I put my lips on them and feeling all tingly just standing close to them wondering what his hand might feel like touching me -- all manner of stuff. It's like I'm a teen boy all of a sudden.



So, Tiffany just told me to dust off my vaj and get me a tune up specialist. Which seems simple but it's not really cause I have no moves. I have never ever made a move on a guy or kissed a guy first or anything. According to my ex-husband, my moves say, "HEY, let's be friends, old buddy old pal!" when I think they are saying, "I'm hot in the ass, touch that and squeeze this, I'm trying to give it to youuuuuuuuuuuu." LOL

That is all. Thanks and bye.

4 comments:

  1. LMAOOOOO!!! I can't stand you!!

    But I'm serious tho. *hard stare*

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  2. I'm with you. I followed their conversation and all I could think was, they make it sound so simple. It would be nice to be able to walk into a store and buy cocoa, but it doesn't really work that way.

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  3. @R4P: It isn't quite that simple, but it's not all that hard either. I guess it's all in how you look at it.

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  4. I got a little seed money to invest if you trying to do the business plan. LOL

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Use your inside voice ... or I'll put you outside. -- SingLikeSassy