"There are notes between notes, you know." -- Sarah Vaughan

Thursday, August 15, 2013

*Moonwalks into the blog, twirls, pivots on tips of toes, tosses hat into crowd* SHAMON!

Hey e'rybody! I woke up this morning and was like, I need to be blogging! So I spent the next 30 mins trying to figure out how to get back into this blog, then how to get into the email associated with this blog so that I could get back into the blog and then how to get into the Twitter account associated with the blog, then how to get the blog to be open to readers again and by the time I did all that I only had time to write that one sentence in the post before this one and then I had to put on some clothes and get to work.

But, I'm here!!

So here's what I have to say....*crickets*

Bwaaahaaahaaaa. Nah, I want to talk about panties. Yes, I said it: PANTIES.

I used to be a panties all the time person. The idea of there being nothing between my ass and my pants was nasty. Ew.

Then I got married.

Mr. XSLS asked me at the beginning of our marriage to not wear panties. I wanted to be a good little wife so I giggled and said, "OK."

And thus the beginning of my (mostly) panty-free life. It's been liberating!

Except, I wear a lot of dresses. And sometimes I forget I don't have on panties. Or can't remember if I put on some. Like at the movies the other day. I tend to put my feet on the seat in front of me because I'm short enough that I can't touch the floor in movie seats (shaddup!). I wanted to put my feet up but for the life of me I couldn't remember if I had on underwear and if I did if they covered my ass, went up my asscrack -- what was the situation down below cause I didn't want to flash folks or have my cheeks exposed to the elements. In the end I remembered that I had on some Skittles-colored briefs and I put my feet up.

But what about you? Panties on, off, up the ass crack drawers? How do you navigate steps and shit without exposing the guzzlestrang?


3 comments:

  1. Guzzlestrang? I. Am. Weak!

    ReplyDelete
  2. The only time I don't wear panties is to bed and when I have on spanx. I hate sleeping in underwear.

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  3. I don't wear panties to bed cuz my sweet innocent grandma said that the kitty needs to breathe at night. LOL.

    Other than that, I got my panties on. Though I'd rather go commando than wear a thong.

    ReplyDelete

Use your inside voice ... or I'll put you outside. -- SingLikeSassy